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Unhappy How should I deal with my mom's anger bursts? - September 15th 2011, 01:15 PM

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I came from school and sat on my laptop, my mom came home an hour later and accused me for ruining her new phone, I didn't even touch it. She didn't believe me and said that I am ill-mannered and that I'm filth just like my dad and siblings, she says she wishes she didn't marry my dad and didn't give birth to us and that I should be dead, because we don't deserve her and that she "sacrificed" her life for me. She hit me, my dad came and tried to calm her down, I ran to my room and locked the door.

Few minuted later my dad told me to open the door, once I opened it my mom took the key, pulled my hair and hit my head up on the wall, infront of my dad. When me and my dad were alone he told me to not mind her attitude.
Beside that, I started cutting again. I'm angry and upset.

My mom gossips about other people and starts fights. I know my mom is kind of passive-aggressive. Basically there are no extended family members that still like us or in contact.

What do you think I should do in this situation? I don't even feel safe sleeping with my room's door unlocked and now I don't have the key.

Last edited by Silver Starlight; September 15th 2011 at 01:36 PM.
   
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Re: How should I deal with my mom's anger bursts? - September 15th 2011, 03:09 PM

Aimee, your mom isn't 'Passive aggressive', there's nothing passive about her aggression! Rather, she's out of control.

You might talk with your dad about this and work on a plan to address your mom's abusiveness together. He's your best ally here, work with him about ways of making home safer. Let him intervene with mom...and maybe let him know that if this continues you'll tell school people and have them intervene. be careful not to threaten him, but rather talk observationally about how reckless and dangerous and totally inappropriate her responses are and your feeling unsafe and your need for some help here.

It goes without saying that you should be very aware that saying or doing anything provocative or antagonistic towards your mom (regardless of how justified you feel it might be) would be truly counterproductive and perhaps downright dangerous.


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Re: How should I deal with my mom's anger bursts? - September 16th 2011, 10:56 AM

thank you, I'll talk to him.
   
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Re: How should I deal with my mom's anger bursts? - September 17th 2011, 08:22 AM

I grew up in a similar situation, with different characters- I live on my own now. Whether or not you go to that extreme, at the very least something has to change, since nobody deserves to be treated that way. Individual and group counseling for your family might be a good start- honestly though If I were you I'd try and move in with an aunt or uncle or something if you could... being in that sort of environment is the absolute worst way to grow up, and it's only going to become more and more stressful for you. I tried to ride it all out for awhile, and now have had to deal with binge drinking, drug abuse, self harm and disordered eating as personal battles- behaviours which started in order to cope with the absolute (insert expletive here) you have to put up with. You shouldn't have to and you deserve better
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