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Name: Marla Ann (Mar)
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Feeling Free. - September 18th 2011, 01:27 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

so...

i managed to start telling people about when i was raped. i was eleven.
i'ts really hard for me to talk still, and just typing this is making my stomah upset. because...idk. its just hard. i dont like using the word 'rape' or stuff like that. maybe it's just me.
i just feel freeer than i ever have right now. im still scared. i dont know.
i guess i just want to know, is it normalk to feel free? after you'ver told? or...still get scared when you see people? and...idk. i don't really know what i'm asking right now.
i'm just lost because i want it all to be over. i don't know how not to be scared any more.

any ideas...?


Isaiah 41:13

For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.


God is the God of second chances
   
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Schiz Offline
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Re: Feeling Free. - September 18th 2011, 05:35 AM

It's normal, and it's good. It means you are taking back control of your life. You will no longer be defined by that event. You will be free to define yourself. It is perfectly okay to still feel scared. It is a scar. And no one can do anything about scars. For instance, I have a nasty scar from a knife. I'm a little different around knives now. I will forever have it. It does not define me though. And obviously, it pales in comparison to other peoples' scars, both physical and psychological.

It is okay that you don't know how to not be scared anymore. It's all you've known for a long time. You've taken the first steps to no longer being lost, to no longer be scared. You've taken the first step on the path out of the woods.

I can't promise that this process will be easy - being as courageous as you have been is often incredibly hard - but I can promise you that if you stay on this road, that one day you will stop being scared. That you will no longer feel lost. It may take years. It may take decades. But it will happen.
   
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