i need some guidance and reassurance.

[imlosthereinthismoment]

so I was 8 when this happened... my "cousin", who was 9, did sexual things with me. I didn't know what I was doing. but she ended up, I guess, molesting me. but I'm not sure if it was molestation because I agreed to it, even though I had no clue what it was. I look back on it and think it was molestation cause for a while I was messed up, like I wouldn't let anyone touch me cause I was scared... but I dunno...

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

I think this should be in the rape & abuse section.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I would call it rape if you were too young to really understand what was going on. That's just my opinion though, so speak to a trusted adult. I hope things get better for you.

[viemexis]

If you and your cousin were 8 and 9, I doubt either of you really had any idea what you were doing. But I'd consider any sexual touching of a kid molestation. The question is what to do with all this now. You said you were messed up "for a while," but what about now -- do you feel like you're still walking around with scars from this, and you're looking for healing? What's causing you to explore these memories now? Your subject line says you need guidance; what kind of guidance are you looking for?

Sorry if I'm asking a lot of questions, I'm just trying to understand before I say anything further.