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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
I'm Not Who You Think I Am
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Unhappy Happening again. :( - March 20th 2009, 09:23 PM

Ok.. Ive been being physically and sexually abused by someone who was supposed to be my best friend since I was 9.. Recently it stopped.
I dont know why.. but he did. I didnt see him again, until this week.

I was thinking about going to the police and making a statement, my therapist was going to come with me.. but I wasnt sure..
I dissociated most of the abuse.. other then the first time he raped me I dont remember anything in like sequence.. its flashes of certain bits.. but I dont know other then a few times any of them.. ordered. I cant make sense of them.. and I felt it wouldnt help at all, as they wouldnt be able to get much of the picture..

But now he's raped me again. He's hurt me again. I left it too long trying to decide and I cant think straight anymore. I cant forget how much I love him. To this day I love him so much and it doesnt make sense.
I dont know what to do. I cant live through anymore like this.. Its ripping my life apart..

Why do I love him.
Why wont anything make sense.
I cant see any other way out then to die..
Its messing with my head so much..
Im dying here and he's ensuring it.

Im scared.. I just dont know what to do.

Everything always goes wrong..
Why did I take too long deciding!


[x] Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You wont try for me, not now,
Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone,

Isn't something missing?
Isnt someone missing me [x]

Baby, i want you to be my superman.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Kathey Offline
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Re: Happening again. :( - March 21st 2009, 08:06 AM

Why do you love him?
What would it really mean to take proper care of yourself?



   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
stars333 Offline
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Re: Happening again. :( - March 21st 2009, 04:56 PM

No one can tell you why you love him or care for him. But you have been connected to him, tied to him, for a long time now. Its never too late to decide. I am very sorry this is happening to you and that your hurting so much. Abuse messes with people's heads expecially young children. Its very hard to understand and it is great that you are in therapy. I encourage you to go to the police still. It doesn't matter if you remember everything you can file a report it will be there in case someone else comes forward. And you never know you may have more evidence than you think.
You don't have to do this alone. Your therapist sounds like a good person. Hopefully you have friends or family to lean on for support and of course you have TH. If you ever need to talk you can PM me. Take Care.





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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
I'm Not Who You Think I Am
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Re: Happening again. :( - March 22nd 2009, 12:41 AM

I dont know why I love him. I guess he was there for me when things were really bad at home and school. He is the first proper friend I had.. I just cant forget the good things that he did for me.
He has other people on his record, 2 as far as I know. I wanted to be the last. As much as I love him I dont want someone else to go through this hell when it could be avoided.. I wanted to try and put him away but I dont think it'll be enough to do that..
Im so confused. Im so scared of doing it, but I know he's had his eye on a few younger children in the area. I dont wanna put her through this. I've tried talking to her but she wont listen to me.. I feel so stuck. I dont really wanna get himin trouble but it's the only way he'll stop..


[x] Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You wont try for me, not now,
Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone,

Isn't something missing?
Isnt someone missing me [x]

Baby, i want you to be my superman.
  Send a message via MSN to xxCookiiexMonsterxx  
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
stars333 Offline
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Re: Happening again. :( - March 22nd 2009, 05:29 PM

If you love him even if it is for the wrong reason you still should tell. He needs help. It will only get worse. He needs someone to tell. It does not matter if the information you have will be the final straw to put him away. It is a step in the right direction. If it isn't you its someone else and the more pain he inflicts the worse trouble he will be in. If you can't do it to protect the innocent children then do it to protect him. It is better for him to be locked away. People like him are a danger to everyone including themselves. Please try and tell someone. Take Care.





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Re: Happening again. :( - March 22nd 2009, 10:53 PM

I"m very sorry that your "friend" has hurt you & raped you. "FRIENDS" don't hurt you & for sure don't rape you either. You are letting your feelings of the good times you've had & the help that he's given you. But he's betraying that "TRUST" you had in him when he decided to hurt & rape you. As you said, he's has 2 other victims on his list & its up to you to make youself his LAST victim!! Its normal to be confused & scared when it comes to subjects such as this. This is where you NEED the help of an adult--a parent or a teacher or principal. They will know what to do to get this guy off the streets & in jail where he belongs. Pedophiles DO NOT STOP abusing, they keep on abusing until they're caught. You don't want to get him in trouble??? Steph, he got HIMSELF in trouble the first time he abused you in any way, shape, or form. What he did is against the law & belongs behind bars or otherwise he's gonna go after more girls to abuse, & as you said, "you don't want that to happen to them". Don't let those girls lives be damaged like you feel from the abuse. Steph, for your sake & his future victims sake, TELL SOMEONE!! If you want to talk further a/b this, PM me & we'll talk a/b it.
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Happening again. :( - March 26th 2009, 12:40 AM

Hey Steph,

This guy does not seem like a good friend to me. Regardless of wether he has helped you out in the past the fact of the matter is he raped you and that is unforgivable. Everything nice he ever did becomes null and void after a betrayal like that. I don't think you really love him. Emotions can be confusing but right now you need to listen to logic. You have the power to stop him from hurting anyone else. If he has done this before in the past I have no doubt that he will do it again to another poor innocent girl. Additionally, the fact that he has done it before establishes a pattern of behavior which can be used as a powerful tool against him in court.

I highly recommend going with your therapist to file a police report. Not only will you be getting the justice you deserve but you will be preventing future attacks and this might give you some sense of closure. I know it is scary but you will have someone there to support you. You are strong. I know you will do what is right for you and that is the important thing.

If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me anytime. I am never to busy to listen and I will do my best to help you in any way I can. You have people who care about you and I am one of those people. Be strong and take care of yourself. You can get through this.


Lots of love <3 Mimi



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Re: Happening again. :( - March 26th 2009, 03:03 AM

it sounds hard but i support what mimi said.

nothing like that is forgivable in any way, because he did something very bad to you.. you have to defend yourself and definitely protect other people from what he's doing. i agree that every good thing he did becomes meaningless after all that. You have to tell someone bout this.. whether is it us, or anyone else, just having someone else to listen truly helps.

in case you need any help or support, just remember i, too, am always, always going to be there to listen and help always remember that!


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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