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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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vamgurl1 Offline
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Unhappy How do I get over it?... - October 13th 2011, 08:11 PM

Almost a year ago, I had this boyfriend who was physically and emotionally abusive. He used to bite my legs and leave huge bruises with knots underneath. He made me feel guilty about everything and he told me that I'd be nothing without him. He also told me I was stupid and I looked like shit. One day, he pinned me against a wall and almost raped me. I was with him for about 2 months before realizing that I was being abused and breaking up with him. I didn't realize how much it had affected me until recently. My fiance' was playing around and pinned me down, and I started crying. It's not fair to him that I'm like this. I know he'd never hurt me. How do I get passed this? .
   
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victoriabankson Offline
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Re: How do I get over it?... - October 13th 2011, 10:49 PM

im sorry this happend to you. with your fiance' you shoudl explane to him why your liek that and i would sujust seeing a theripist to hwlp work through your emotions it can be hard work. but you want to have a relationship and evberytign need s to be in the open and you dont want what happend to afect the future you may never be able to do somehthings because of what ur ex bf did. i hope this helped and pm if you wanna talk


victoria bankson the person who will always be there for you

they tell me they love me
and yet
they use me then leave me
in an old scary ally
where i have to hide
to stay alive then
on day the new prince will come
and i believe that hes different
but he does the same thing all the rest have done
then comes the boy i've known all my life
he takes me home and teaches me to live
and we end up falling in love
NOW if only i could believe that

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Re: How do I get over it?... - October 16th 2011, 02:05 PM

I don't think you ever really get over it. You just learn how to deal with your emotions so you can live your life without having them cause problems. Going to a therapist didn't work for me, but it might help you.
   
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Dr.Bobby Offline
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Re: How do I get over it?... - October 16th 2011, 06:07 PM

You get passed it by recognizing two things: One, that you were able to succesfulyl recognize that realtionhsip for what it was, and protect yourelf by leaving (Huzzahs!), and, Two, by recognizing that the same good judgment allowwed you to selct a soon to be life partner who'd nevr do that to you, that he is not HIM, even when he says or does things that ever so slightly remind you of HIM.

Tell your sweetie to never, ever do those things to you, again, even in jest.

As an FYI, not everyone who's been thru an experience needs a therapist. The determinant for that is if their issues significantly interfere with their life and sense of well being and they cannot manage their symptoms effectively. In this case, you might try reminding yourself that you are a strong, wise person, and also tell him what's off bounds. People who are afraid of elevators just live on the ground floor, no therapy needed.


PM me with the link of the post you'd like me to respond to.
   
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