I want to love my dad but I'm scared of him

[amyleefan101]

I haven't ever really known my dad outside of prison. He's the only parent who loves me somewhat. I have liked our relationship. Yet I can't be close to him. I've never really told about what my step-dad did. I just have always said I was beat up and my sister and brother were openly sexually abused. I can't say what happened. It hurts way too much. It's too much shame and I'd rather forget it. The whole father figure is a nightmare. And I don't want that reationship with him even though I do. I've always wanted to be close with my dad. I missed him so long and now I hope he rejects me when he finds out some things. But I also wish he'd accept me. I just feel like he brings back bad memories. Maybe I'm scared of older men. But I can't get over it help?

[amyleefan101]

any advice?

[Complete Love.]

Not really any advice.. But nicely put into words... Iv been thinking the same thing for like the past month( basically I'm in the same situation) but didnt know how to quite put it into words and you just did it beautifully what I do have to tell you is that you're not alone. And if you need anyone to talk to I'll be here for you anytime