Non-PG13: true story

[waterbox72]

i would like to begin by apologizing for the long post...but in order to get a helpful response, the complete story needs to be told.
i'm a dude first of all, and when i was 14 years old, i became friends with a 16 year old girl. unfortunately the basis of our friendship was formed when she told me of a friend of hers that had slapped her and verbally abused her. at the time i just felt sorry for her but that progressed into frustration and sadness when the slaps turned into punches and the punches evolved into lengthy, brutal beatings. the abuser eventually got her friend pregnant and threatened to hurt the pregnant friend if my friend did not have sexual intercourse with him. she felt that she had no choice so she wen through with it. it breaks my heart to say that she lost her virginity painfully and unprotected. fortunately there was no pregnancy but later on beatings persisted and she had horrific and vivid nightmares about the occurrences. at this point she had become my best friend and the pain of knowing what i did was unbearable. i started having panic attacks and breakdowns where i would vomit and cry uncontrollably. finally i guess i sub-consciously told myself to become cold so as not to feel the pain but at the same time i was turning my best friend away when she needed me the most. i was able to break away from that but the problem still remained. she would come over to my house sometimes and fall asleep next to me because she'd been staying up all night avoiding the nightmares. when she was awake she would cry hysterically and ask me why was this happening to her- words that tore my heart out. i held her close to me and told her it would be alright...even though i knew it wouldnt. granted we were extremely good friends dont let the following strike you as odd, but one day at my house she had to change into a dress for an event she was attending after leaving. she changed in front of me, but instead of having a moment where i realized her beauty or whatever, i had to hold back tears because of the eggplant-black bruises running down her back. she didnt realize they were there i guess..but i didnt tell her....i couldnt. when she would come over sometimes we watched old disney movies because secretly i thought it might take her away from reality for a while...but she always fell asleep. during her dreams she would cry, moan and convulse violently and mumble under her breath so when she fell asleep around me, i wasnt sure what to do about it. one day she slumped over onto me and when we came into contact she calmed into a much more peaceful rest with the occasional jump or mumble to which i responded by holding her hand or putting my arm around her. i know what youre thinking but my actions were almost sub-conscious or instinctual. she woke up with me holding her but didnt move...just lied there and honestly at the time it felt right.
this only amplified the feelings i felt when some news was broken to me. a few months prior, she had been raped. raped by her abuser and his friend. she hadnt told me because she didnt want to hurt me and she was ashamed. at first i was on shock which turned into rage and faded into sadness that i havent experienced again since. i have not been the same since hearing that almost a year ago today. a rumor surfaced that her abuser now wanted to kill her...and her "boyfriend" at the time was going to attempt to protect her..she came to my house that day and i told her that she would be safer to stay with me since the abuser didnt know where i lived but she insisted that she go...that night before she left i almost kissed her..but i thought if she didnt come back it would only be more painful. i held her tightly and told her to be safe before she drove away. thats when i started kicking myself for not kissing her and to this day i still dont understand why i let her go. fortunately she's alive, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it. the next time she fell asleep in my arms i realized something that i guess id never considered before...i loved her.......the story isnt over but id like to get a sign that someone is interested before i continue in another post..because there is quite a bit left to tell

[Koharuchan]

Everyone on teenhelp is here to give helpful responses, even if your story is long. You should continue so we know the full story and can give you the advice you need.

[mz.rocroyal14]

I am sorry for what to your friend. You should tell it all because it shows that you cared and i care and i can give you advice on what you need

[DerJagger]

The only adice i could give is going to the police or to the teachers at your school. You may be hesitant to go the the authorities at first but in the long run things will get better because of it. This man sounds extremely dangerous and belongs in a prison rather than in your community. She could easily get a restraining order against him and later go to the police and tell them everything that had happened and they could put him away for assault and sexual assault. Also you and she should see a therapist together to work out some more problems. Please PM me if you need more info or if there is any other way i could help. i wish you and your friend the best -Sasha

[ThornedRose]

I have no advice to give, I'm sorry, but this story is so SWEET and interesting. I'm begging you, please finish. Wow this is making me cry.

[lacylovebugg]

You definitly need to finish. I will say this : You have been through a lot and so has your friend. I would like to know, if you allow it how exactly your friend knows this abuser. How she came into contact with him and such. Abuse is never justified and never okay. It is not something you have to just "deal" with and get over. you should never have to witness things like that. And as far as the rape goes she should have went to the authorities asap to get tested and the guy would have been put in jail. With out the test its just her word against his. But, please finish the story so we can help. And please feel free to PM me. I have been in a similar situation and may be able to help.