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waterbox72 Offline
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Post true story cont. - November 17th 2011, 11:06 PM

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okay, well starting right where i left off, from a certain point after that time the relationship we had transitioned into a third phase. it was almost like we were together but not quite. i guess we were just closer than we had been before...its almost like there was tension. there was no doubt in my mind that i loved her, because i felt like if i didnt i wouldnt subject myself to the pain. i thought if i was helping even a tiny bit then it was worth sticking around. i had a girlfriend at the time but she knew pretty much everything that had gone on, so i decided to end that relationship. i was so close to my friend that i felt like i was cheating on one when id be with the other, not to mention hearing all that bad shit all the time couldnt have been good for my ex. needless to say she was pretty immature about it and took it very personally but i gathered my balls and finalized everything. now i only had one focus again until shit started going down with my family.
(just to give you a time frame, all of this began in the fall of 2009 and at this point were around december 2010)
you see, my father has something like bipolar disorder. so he gets very angry over sometimes nothing at all. anyways, two weeks before christmas, he had an episode and kicked me out of the house. i just walked around for a few hours until my grandma got home and then i went inside there to get warm. it also happened to be the night of our family christmas party, so iwent with my grandma, a few relatives and my mom who had no idea where my dad was. i get home that night and over the weekend his mood didnt improve. the following monday i wouldve had to have stayed home with him alone but my mom didnt want that so she was gonna wake me up early and get me out before he could bitch about it but he came in when she was trying to wake me up. he then took all the clothes out of my closet and put them in the trunk of the car while telling me to get out and dont come back. i asked him what did he think he was gonna do if i did come back and he said he would kill me and if he didnt somebody else would get tired of my gaddamn mouth and beat him to it. and yeah im aware that im stupid for egging him on, but my adrenaline was crazy high. i told him he couldnt kill me..and that id like to see him try to fucking kill me cause he didnt have the guts. he slapped me and i said fuck you. my mother threatened to call the police but i told her its fine lets just go... so i got in the car with her and went to my grandmas house. i was there for several days but i remember on the second day my friend wanted to hang out but i couldnt tell her why i wouldnt be able to. she kept on pressing at the matter because she knew something was wrong and fanally i told her a condensed version that she would later demand to know more about. she came to my grandmas that day and stayed for a long time. again she fell asleep next to me but in my grandmas small-ass house it would be awkward when she inevitably noticed my friend laying all over me so i just held her hand an that seemed to do the job of keeping her in a peaceful sleep. and again like usual she woke up with me still holding her hand and it didnt seem to arouse any complaints. a couple days later my dad showed back up nd my grandmas house trying to feebly apologize. i just listened to a little of it here and there noticing that he never actually said "im sorry". he just gave a lengthy discourse about how bad of a father he was. in the end i was given the option to stay at my grandmas or go back home...and like a dumb ass i chose to return home. the following day i went on a church christmas caroling thing with my friend and she had been acting funny and then she said she had something to tell me. all night long she was at war with herself debating whether or not to tell me whatever it was, but after a while i had a VERY distant notion of what it might be. it was sort of a stretch but the hints she was dropping pointed to it. we got back to my house that night and she still hadnt told me so i thought i would take a shot at what i thought she was thinking. she kept on rambling about how i might not "agree" with her so i said i dont know for sure what youre talking about but i just ask that you dont hate me if im wrong, and on december 22nd 2010 i kissed her. i found out minutes later that her abuser had been put in prison for possession of illegal substances and was sentenced to 3-5 years.
we had a really good relationship..if you dont think about my parents hating her guts because she knew what went down at christmas. that right there was a pain in the ass for me and her for our entire relationship...but in the beginning it was easy not to let stuff like that get to you. eventually it started to wear her down but she didnt really show it. in the summer of 2011 she had begun acting very different. almost like she was always ready to get in a fight with me. i found out later that the abuser had gotten out on parole and wanted to see her, and the reason she had been acting funny was because she felt like she had to push me away so it wouldnt hurt so much if she couldnt be with me anymore
the day finally came to where we had to say goodbye...probably forever because she had decided the only way to deal with him was to just give in and at least pretend to be alright with everything that he was doing. i was devastated...out of my mind devastated.....i began making plans and putting out personal information like my address, full name, cell number etc... because i wanted him to find me. i wanted him to come after me jealous and pissed off...because i didnt care of she hated me for it or if i got injured in the process, it seemed like there was only one way to deal with him. especially since law enforcement seemed to have no effect. i wasnt about to let her have that life even if it meant ruining mine. but the night after we had said our goodbyes and shed quite a few tears, i received news that all he wanted to do was talk...and thats all that happened. they talked and he left her alone.
for the rest of the summer i hadnt been happier in like..ever. it wasnt until school started that we started having problems that didnt involve her abuser. she told me i seemed cold and distant a lot of the time, which was funny because this time i truely did not intend to come off that way. she repeatedly told me this and sometimes we got into fights about it. i still didnt realize i was doing anything differently but she insisted that i was. a few weeks ago we broke up because she said she needed to not be let down all the time. to stop getting her hopes for me up and be let down. alright.... naturally i was borderline depressed and ill be straight up honest...i considered the easy way out. obviously i didnt do that but afer two weeks she texted me saying that she was more miserable without me and she would like to try again. i thought about it good and hard and i decided to give it one more shot. it lasted all of about a week and a half and we broke up agan for pretty much the same reason and there were some issues with the age difference between us involved. and now here i am with my laptop talking to whoever will listen.

Last edited by waterbox72; November 18th 2011 at 02:03 AM.
   
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victoriabankson Offline
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Re: true story cont. - November 18th 2011, 06:06 PM

im sorry im only 14 so ill let an older person help u out but i am sorry and how u have helped her is amazing and just be there for her i guess im sorry i cant help u


victoria bankson the person who will always be there for you

they tell me they love me
and yet
they use me then leave me
in an old scary ally
where i have to hide
to stay alive then
on day the new prince will come
and i believe that hes different
but he does the same thing all the rest have done
then comes the boy i've known all my life
he takes me home and teaches me to live
and we end up falling in love
NOW if only i could believe that

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