I was raped.
 

I am a guy, and I was the victim of sexual assault. I had gotten very drunk and had more shots taken to my self-esteem, after seeing the guy I liked make out with a girl. I had gone back to my room with my other gay, “drunk” friend. I use quotes because he had way less than me, and honestly, has 50lbs on me. Regardless, he keeps asking for “hugs”, which I finally gave him to shut him up. Then I tried to go to sleep in my bed, but he “helped me get in safely”, as I am on a bunk. So he ended up climbing up and kissing me. I blacked out at this point, but, he fucked me.

He left the condom wrapper in my bed. Not to mention that I had tears in my rectum, making shitting excruciatingly painful and made me wipe more blood than anything else. I only remember some things from it. I remember that he made me go down on him, while he sucked me. I remember how much it hurt during the act, but not as much as it hurt after.

My virginity, a bond I kept for 18 years, was taken from me and I don’t even remember. There was no romance, no relationship, no love. And I don’t want to remember, but I KNOW that sex was not my idea. I have no attraction to him. No emotional, physical, or at this point personal. He knew this, but he wanted me. And he got it, because I was too drunk to say no.

I can't deal with things. There was a guy that told mutual friends that he "wants to fuck me". When he drunkenly hit on me, I almost went into shock from my anxiety. My friends make rape jokes and I try to smile and go along. I told one friend, who doesn't go to my school.

Re: I was raped.
 

I understand how hard it is for you to deal this stuff like this..but please don't antagonize your gay friend because of what happened. If what your saying is true and he was drunk also, he didn't know what he was doing.....My only advice I can give is, try to reconcile with your gay friend and make sure that neither you or him drinks again.

Re: I was raped.
 

Re: I was raped.
 

I'm guessing it is too late to submit the condom as evidence? I think you should keep the possibility of legal action open if you can.

What he did was wrong and illegal; there is no question about it. I disagree and think that you don't need to seek reconciliation or anything from him; it is his fault regardless of whether or not he was drunk, and being drunk is no excuse. He took advantage of you when you were drunk, and he did it in a horrible way. He deserves to go to jail for what he did in my opinion.

You were hurt both physically and mentally. As for the physical, if it still hurts, you should probably see a doctor who specializes in that area to see if there is anything they can do for you, or you should at least get some pain medication if there is nothing. I'm concerned for your physical health. As for the mental, it sounds like you are still in shock from the event. I don't know what to say; it is so horrible. I know that you can recover, and you can still have a special someone in the future, but for now it is just going to be difficult and that wont seem so appealing. So I feel kind of like a jerk for saying that. This isn't your fault.

I don't expect you to be able to deal with things right now, and realistically, nobody else should either (but of course, they don't know). I think you need to give yourself space and time, and don't bother at all with the other guy who says he wants you. It is okay to see someone with training about this if you want.

Re: I was raped.
 

Take my advice. You should confront your friend about what he did, and then forgive him. Forgivness is the best thing that a person could do. Sure you can punch him in the face, but what are you gonna get from that? By forgiving him, you aren't saying what he did was good, but that you still care for him AS A FRIEND.


Remember, its easy to say that you hate his guts, but it takes REAL courage to say "I forgive you"

I don't condone or promote rape, I'm not exactly "defending" the guy that raped you. I'm just one person who dosen't belive in hatred.