Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
SnowKitten Offline
Experienced TeenHelper
SnowKitten's Avatar
Name: Snow
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: North Cackalacki

Posts: 533
Blog Entries: 4
Join Date: January 17th 2009

I just wanna help... - March 24th 2009, 01:34 AM

Today it came up in conversation that old guys like to molest little children (just a joke that one of my dumb ass friends made) and my friend Madison told him not to say shit like that because she got molested when she was little by her grandpa and got raped once. I fell silent because even though she acted like it was nothing, I know it has hurt her psychologically or something...I just wanna help her because after that she got really depressed sounding and lost her *good spirit*...I just feel kinda worthless.....how can I help her....

Click my eggs and help my dragons grow! :3
  Send a message via AIM to SnowKitten Send a message via Yahoo to SnowKitten  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Coxyian Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
Coxyian's Avatar

Posts: 4
Join Date: March 23rd 2009

Re: I just wanna help... - March 24th 2009, 02:25 AM

Short answer:
You really can't.

Long answer:
You reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaally can't.

My now ex-girlfriend was a victim of similar circumstances, and they really should have gone/go to therapy regarding it. We were together some 3 years and talked about it, but not too many people are open about it (though she didn't seem keen on hiding it). It's not something that goes away; it's a lingering trauma that - save deep-sleep therapy - will bear with her for her life. Ultimately, it's up to her and it's possible that things will becoming remarkably uncomfortable between you if you bring it up.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
soul Offline
Any fool can criticize
Senior TeenHelper
soul's Avatar
Name: Mimi
Gender: Female

Posts: 922
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I just wanna help... - March 24th 2009, 02:42 AM

The best you thing you can do for your friend is tell her that you care about her. Let her know you are there for her if she ever needs to talk to you about anything. Besides emotional support there is little you can do. If you would like to you can gently ask if she wants to talk about what happened. If she says no then drop the topic and wait for her to bring it up when she is ready. One reason many people don't talk about their abuse with people is because they are afraid of how they will react or they think that no one wants to hear about it because well it can be disturbing. If she opens up to you do your best to be understanding and supportive. Good luck with helping your friend. I hope things start to get easier for her.

Take care <3 Mimi

As long as we can dream, there will be unicorns.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
awritersmind Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
awritersmind's Avatar
Name: Kathryn
Gender: Female

Posts: 12
Join Date: March 20th 2009

Re: I just wanna help... - March 24th 2009, 03:35 AM

Let her know some way that she has your support if she needs someone to come to. Other than that, she needs to do things on her own schedule.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
sphynx Offline
A Work In Progress
Experienced TeenHelper
sphynx's Avatar
Name: Claire
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Far From Home

Posts: 638
Join Date: March 7th 2009

Re: I just wanna help... - March 24th 2009, 08:30 AM

Hey there Carey.

I agree with a lot of what Mimi had to say. This isn't an issue you're going to want to push, though I do understand the potential temptation there is in trying to get her to talk about what she's been through. However, although this is something you'd like to help her through, you're going to have to accept that you may not be able to give her the help that she needs. A lot of what she's dealing with, she's going to have to deal with in her own time, and hopefully, eventually she'll be ready to meet with someone who's specialised in this field. The best thing that you can do for her for now is be there for her. It may not seem like much, but in all actuality, simply having that support and knowing that it's there can be comforting. Like Mimi said, so long as you introduce it gently, you can ask her if she'd like to talk about it, but if she says no, you're going to have to respect that. It might be a good time to remind her that you're there should ever she need to (this isn't something you want to be consistently pointing out to her, however). If she does open up to you, the most important thing you can do is listen. Hear her out, support her through it and do what you can to be understanding about it. Don't expect to have all the answers, either. Sometimes just being there for someone, and I mean truly being present for them, is an answer in itself. Good luck.

xo Claire

Clean since 01.08.09
  Send a message via MSN to sphynx  
Closed Thread



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.