Coming back.

[Gidig]

I was raped in May, and I had some difficulty with it then, but got over it. In the past two weeks, I've had such intense flashbacks I have to pull over if I'm driving, I start shaking and can't see the actual world around me.

My friend woke me up the other night because I was shaking, and talking just saying "no" over and over. After I woke up, I couldn't shake the dream, and apparently I was holding on to him and wouldn't let go. Which I do kind of remember.

I do think it was my fault, because I didn't fight enough. Honestly, I probably could have stopped it if I wasn't so drunk. I shouldn't have gotten drunk.

But constantly, I hear the guy's voice in my head, telling me I'm worthless, that no one will ever love me for anything but sex, so on and so forth. And I can't make it stop.

Why has this suddenly come back? And what the hell do I do about it? =(