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Gidig Offline
Optimistic pessimist
I can't get enough
Gidig's Avatar
Name: Maria
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Colorado

Posts: 2,123
Blog Entries: 390
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Coming back. - November 22nd 2011, 03:19 AM

I was raped in May, and I had some difficulty with it then, but got over it. In the past two weeks, I've had such intense flashbacks I have to pull over if I'm driving, I start shaking and can't see the actual world around me.

My friend woke me up the other night because I was shaking, and talking just saying "no" over and over. After I woke up, I couldn't shake the dream, and apparently I was holding on to him and wouldn't let go. Which I do kind of remember.

I do think it was my fault, because I didn't fight enough. Honestly, I probably could have stopped it if I wasn't so drunk. I shouldn't have gotten drunk.

But constantly, I hear the guy's voice in my head, telling me I'm worthless, that no one will ever love me for anything but sex, so on and so forth. And I can't make it stop.

Why has this suddenly come back? And what the hell do I do about it? =(

The best wayout is always through~
-Robert Frost

Proud member of the LGBT community.

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back, coming

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