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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Justagirl Offline
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no flashbacks - March 26th 2009, 01:35 AM

So for a few years now...ever since I have accepted that I was sexually abused when i was a little kid I have been having flashbacks...like i can see something that reminds me of what happened and i instantly start thinking about it and can see everything happening all over again and it always leads to me freaking out...

I had alot last year, when I was working through alot. Not even really working through alot...more just talking about working through it...and
now I am in a different country (studying abroad) and I have only had one flashback in the last few months when I use to have them all the time...

I am just waiting for the moment when I have one...but the things that use to affect me don't anymore as much...they still make me nervous but they do not triger any memories or anything...that should be such a good thing...but for some reason it scares me...like i don't even know who i am anymore...i keep waiting for myself to freak out and that ends up making me just really anxious...i am glad i dont have them anymore...but its just like i am scared they will happen and its almost worse than just having them...does it make sense? Am i just nuts...i think i must be...i should be celebrating the fact that i dont but instead im living in fear of them coming back...
   
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Re: no flashbacks - March 26th 2009, 01:42 AM

Hey,

I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time. If you ever need someone to talk to do not hesitate to PM me. I am never to busy to talk any I will do my best to help any way that I can. You are most certainly not crazy. It is common to get flashbacks after abuse and flashbacks can be terrifying so it is understandable to be afraid. I know that you are studying abroad at the moment but is there any way that you can receive counseling there? Does your school provide any sort of counseling? I highly recommend talking with someone about how you are feeling and what you are going through. Here is a link with some tips on how to deal with flashbacks if you happen to have another one:

http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/group...iscussionid=39

Another thing that might help give you some comfort is having a friend you can call or have come over if you are having a bad flashback. Is there anyone you would feel comfortable talking to if you find yourself in that situation again? I hope things get easier for you. Try to find some help and try not to let fear control your life. Stay strong and hang in there.

Lots of love <3 Mimi



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Re: no flashbacks - March 26th 2009, 07:27 AM

Yes, it makes sense.

Sometimes the whole focus and stuff of moving, being in a different environment can stir things, make things different.

It might help to keep a diary, so that you have a safe space to hold your feelings and memories.



   
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Re: no flashbacks - March 26th 2009, 12:27 PM

Hey,

Sexual abuse is something very traumatic, both for your emotional and physical well being. It's understandable, the way you're feeling. Flashbacks can sometimes be just as bad, or worse, than the actual events that took place. When you have them, you want them to stop. However, when they finally subside, it might take some getting used to. You probably got used to the on going attacks and they became something that you could control more (knowing certain things that would trigger them). Now that you're having less of them, it might be hard to cope with the fact that they simply won't come as often. Now you can look at the same objects without feeling the pain or reliving past experiences. Even so, it can still be hard to look at the same things and not know if you're really 'cured'. It's probably a scary thing, not knowing if the same objects will trigger you or not. Now that things have gotten better, it's probably a little harder to know when they will come, causing you to be a bit more uneasy because you can't know for certain where you'll be. Am I close? Or no?

Basically, there isn't anything wrong with you. Everyone feels differently about events in their life. Everyone deals with them differently. I know people who've gone through abuse and have never had a single flashback. Then again, there are others who have them almost constantly. This might just take some getting used to. I think you might need to learn to become more comfortable with the fact that they might not be coming as often. That doesn't mean you won't still be able to tell when they'll occur. It might just take a little more time.

When flashbacks do happen, try making a mental note at the time of what happened. Then, record it somewhere. Do this for a while and maybe you'll find a pattern. Also, if you have a counselor or friend to talk to about this, that might help too. Opening up seemed to help you before, maybe it can help right now too.

I know worrying seems like the only thing you can do sometimes, but try getting your mind off of the flashbacks. Try doing things that keep you busy and happy at the same time. They might happen, true, but worrying about it only makes it worse. If they happen, it happens. Luckily, you don't have them as often. Life is too short to be worry about something that might not even happen. And certainly worrying about it hasn't stopped them at all. I hope you can sort this out, we're all here for you. If you need anything, let me know, ok? Take care of yourself.

~Stay strong and have faith.


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Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
   
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Re: no flashbacks - March 26th 2009, 01:37 PM

I can definitely relate to what you're saying. It's confusing to adjust to not having the flashbacks and other intense reactions as frequently. The paranoia of the flashbacks coming back is just as terrifying as actually having them. I'm going through a similar process right now.

Use this opportunity to keep working through it. I agree with what's been mentioned above. Try keeping a journal or some other kind of creative expression of these emotions.


If you need someone to talk to, my PM box is always open.

I've been a member of TeenHelp on and off since I was 16.
   
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Re: no flashbacks - March 31st 2009, 12:45 AM

Yeah...thats it...at least I know I am not the only one...
   
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Re: no flashbacks - March 31st 2009, 01:01 AM

You're certainly not alone. Things change frequently and they can definitely get better for you. Keep that in mind.


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Baby stand tall. You can have it all.

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
   
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