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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Question Considered Abuse? - December 28th 2011, 03:28 PM

So last night my dad was in an argument with my sister, and he started being sort of rude. I stepped in and told him to stop being rude, and he slapped me across the arm. The mark only lasted like an hour, and he said he didn't mean it, but my friend is convinced it was considered abuse. She told another friend and he said he'll call the cops next time it happens. I never thought it was a big deal when my dad slapped any of us. He's done it to my mom a couple of times so far this year, but since she didn't react much I thought it was normal. I mean, he always threatens to do stuff like that, but he hardly ever does it. I guess I'm just confused and need clarification.
   
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Re: Considered Abuse? - December 29th 2011, 12:36 AM

it is sort of abuse. your dad should not do that. it not normal at all. if a person grow up. there dads hit their wife. most likely the son will think it right. name is alex.
im going to be a counselor in the future. if you need advice or need someone to talk too. im here. im try to make a differents in this work. i have also been abuse by my step mother. seen alot of stuff.
   
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Re: Considered Abuse? - December 29th 2011, 04:41 AM

This is abuse, although not severe. I would recommend talking to your family about this during a calm time before getting any police involved. Is this something that happens terribly often, and does anything else happen other than some slapping? It is abuse, so you are not overreacting. I would just like as much information as possible before I tell you the best plan of action.


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Re: Considered Abuse? - December 29th 2011, 06:59 AM

I'm with Traci here. While not severe-sounding, what he did is abuse, and really isn't okay. I'd also recommend talking to your parents and siblings together about it, and talk to your friends after that to make sure they know what they heard. Rumors and stories, no matter how accurate at first, have a way of getting away from us.


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Re: Considered Abuse? - December 29th 2011, 02:06 PM

Most of what my dad does is just threats and things, which I've grown up with so they aren't a huge deal. Sometimes when they fight, my dad will hit my mom (at least once this school year in the face). He tends to break things like doors and walls, but most of the time he doesn't hurt us. I made it clear to my friends that it would be okay and it wasn't that bad, but they were still concerned. They don't believe it won't happen again. Also, I don't want the police involved at any point in this. I mostly just wanted clarification as to if it was considered abuse. But I did talk to my family, and my mum told me it was just because he was Irish. She gives excuses about it a lot.. My oldest sister said that the only thing that had helped her to deal with my dad was running away (she was over 18 at the time) and my middle sister just said not to bother dealing with him. I don't really know what to do.

Edit: Forgot to mention, although I don't think this matters much, he often shoves us out of the way when he's walking? Yesterday he did it and I accidentally hit the corner of the staircase. xD And also sometimes he slaps/kicks/pretty much tosses sometimes my dog? I doubt this really counts for anything, but thought I would mention it just in case.
   
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Re: Considered Abuse? - December 30th 2011, 01:12 AM

This IS abuse. Your friends have a right to be concerned. They care about you and your well-being. What your dad is doing isn't right. He takes his anger out on you, your mom, your dog, and house. He should be in anger management or seeing a therapist so he can better manage his anger and learn how to cope with fights without slapping, pushing, shoving, etc. anyone in the household.
   
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