Law says he didn't do anything wrong

[Agoraphobia♥]

Well I've been contemplating taking action against my now ex-boyfriend because back during the end of September, early November, he sexually assaulted me at homecoming. To be specific he stuck his hand under my dress, without my permission, with the intention of fingering me but he couldn't get under my underwear so yeah...

See, here's the definition of Sexual Assault from the National Center for Victims of Crime:

Sexual assault takes many forms including attacks such as rape or attempted rape, as well as any unwanted sexual contact or threats. Usually a sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person's body in a sexual way, even through clothes, without that person's consent.

But this is what the law where I live says is the definition of sexual assault:

A person who subjects another person to sexual penetration, or who forces another person to make a sexual penetration on himself or herself or another, or on a beast, against the will of the victim or under conditions in which the perpetrator knows or should know that the victim is mentally or physically incapable of resisting or understanding the nature of his or her conduct, is guilty of sexual assault.

There was no penetration so by my state's law, he didn't do anything wrong and I can't get an order of protection or a restraining order. According to my state, he did nothing wrong so I can't do anything about what happened... To be honest, that scares me.

[Le bonheur*]

Hey Cheye,

I know how frustrating it may be to have the law against your case. However, that doesn't mean he didn't do anything wrong. He has hurt you in a way no one should be and you're the one hurting emotionally from it. That's wrong. Perhaps you can ask the school, provided he's in the same school/grade, to keep an eye on him so he can't go near you? I'm not sure what else you can do other than stay away from him and people who are associated with him.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help but just know, like I always tell you, that I'm here for you.

[Agoraphobia♥]

We no longer go to the same school since shortly before our break up I transferred back to my old school for other academic reasons, as well as health issues. I haven't seen him since but he has texted me before, it was about something completely different and after I was done hearing his shit we mutually agreed to stop texting then he continued so I told him that I would not reply to the next text, and that we made a mutual agreement to end communication with each other, if he contacted me again after maybe one reply, I would report him for harassment, so then I only got one reply saying a bunch of shit and haven't heard from him since.

[Illuminate]

Hey Chey,
I know it must be frustrating to feel like you don't have any backup from the law, but what he did was wrong. He ruined what would have been an amazing night for you.
Maybe you could try talking to a teacher at your school? They might be able to help you and point you in the right direction.

If you ever need to talk I'll be here.
Chin up xxxx

[TheBabyEater]

Fight the law, man. That's what I'd do. Get your state to change their definition to something better, like what Sexual Assault from the National Center for Victims of Crime says. Then again, I'm always fighting the law....

[Total Light Storm]

I agree with Marissa, fight the law if you have to.
He has to be held accountable for his actions just like anyone else that commits a crime, they break the law, they get consequences and you and others get justice, that's how the system has to work.
I think that the law in your state is very vague about the definition of sexual assault, maybe if you do end uptaking this to court, you will get something done due to the fact this law does not seem to cover much of the definition and that, whilest courts follow the laws, they do look in to cases on an individual basis and they will most likely respect the fact that he did sexually assault you, whether it is as written or not, it may be between the lines of the law, some laws are not very explanatory as to what things go with them.
The only way you will know is by speaking to someone that knows the laws of your state or contacting a court in your area to inquire about sexual assault laws.
I hope this helps and you can PM me if you ever need to.
Good luck getting this sorted out and dealt with.

[Agoraphobia♥]

That's a great idea Marissa! I think I might just do it! It would still involve telling my parents it happened which, although I'm not too fond of the idea, I would. This is a very serious flaw in my state's law system and I could be a person to help bring that to their attention so no one has to feel like I did after finding out that it said by our law, I wasn't sexually assaulted when I was. Thank you so much Marissa!

[TheBabyEater]

If you need any help or support, let me know. i'm not any expert, but I've stood up against "the man" quite a few times now. Never as far as the state law, but you know. There's a beginning for everything.

[Sythan]

That's interesting, because my School Resource Officer (You know, that police officer from your local PD that is kinda like a guard at a high school?) held a mandatory Sexual Assault and Battery class for every freshman and he said that sexual assault is the unwanted and unwarranted touching or attempting to touch of a persons genitals and breasts for a woman.

So, with what he said, I'd ask your School Resource Officer (If your school has one) about it or talk to a lawyer.

[Shawn K.]

Originally Posted by Sythan

That's interesting, because my School Resource Officer (You know, that police officer from your local PD that is kinda like a guard at a high school?) held a mandatory Sexual Assault and Battery class for every freshman and he said that sexual assault is the unwanted and unwarranted touching or attempting to touch of a persons genitals and breasts for a woman.

So, with what he said, I'd ask your School Resource Officer (If your school has one) about it or talk to a lawyer.

Nick are we following each other tonight

Any pops the ex cop says sexual assault and sexual battery are separate crimes. Sexual assault is the more serious and requires penetration. Sexual battery can be a felony or misdemeanor and only requires unlawful touching.

Here's a link too: http://www.shouselaw.com/sexual_battery.html

[Shawn K.]

Originally Posted by Sythan

That's interesting, because my School Resource Officer (You know, that police officer from your local PD that is kinda like a guard at a high school?) held a mandatory Sexual Assault and Battery class for every freshman and he said that sexual assault is the unwanted and unwarranted touching or attempting to touch of a persons genitals and breasts for a woman.

So, with what he said, I'd ask your School Resource Officer (If your school has one) about it or talk to a lawyer.

Nick are we following each other tonight

Anyway pops the ex cop says sexual assault and sexual battery are separate crimes. Sexual assault is the more serious and requires penetration. Sexual battery can be a felony or misdemeanor and only requires unlawful touching.

Here's a link too: http://www.shouselaw.com/sexual_battery.html

[dreamer1234]

Just because the law is not doing anything about doesn't mean it didn't happen. Trust me the cops did nothing about someone sexually assulting me because i had no evidence. The way i look at it, is yes somedays are harder than others, but you can also learn from this expierence. It will only make you a stronger person