cant forget

[Bessy95]

Ive tried forgetting but I just cant..from ages 7-11 I kind of let my brother 'do stuff'to me. I didnt dislike it, but I didnt exactly get aroused by it either. I think i was too young to know either way. He would kiss touch 'those areas' and I just lay there. Sometimes I would giggle and laugh because I was uncomfortable i think, I dont know. i think We tried having sex once, but we didnt even know what went where so it did not happen. Now I feel sick at the thought of it.I feel disgusted at myself and I thinks its the reason I constantly feel not good enough. Its weird because now me and my brother have a completely normal relationship it just went on when we were alot younger ( although hes 3 years older). I feel abnormal and I have issues because of it. For instance if Ive been out in the rain and I want to come inside, my mum will say take those wet clothes off before you come in the house, I feel like shes saying it just too look at me which is absurd because my mum is so not like that. And sometimes when my dad walks past me he taps my butt as like a friendly gesture but I hate it and feel like he's touching me there on purpose, which is ridiculous. Anyway, point is, I feel like crap about myself and I tell myself to forget but the memories keep resurfacing. I just need some reassurance that its ok to let go and forget. That Im not a complete disgusting human being and Im not a bad person. Sorry, I know this is lengthy.

[Christian_girl_4ever]

Hun, I just want to say you are NOT a disgusting human, it was NOT your fault. And you are NOT a bad person. You can let go but just learn from it. When I say to learn from it I mean learn what you want in future relationships and how far you're willing to go. PM me anytime if you want to talk more...i'm always willing to listen to you and care. Stay strong, you can get past this!

Danielle

[Bessy95]

thankyou, you have made me feel so much better