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Spiderbaby Offline
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Name: Mandi
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Confused... - January 28th 2012, 02:52 AM

I don't want to get into details, but my first serious (now ex) boyfriend cheated and sexually assaulted me, idk if its date rape or whatever to call it. This happened several months ago. I didn't tell anyone until we moved away, and nothing ever came of it. I wish I would have gone to the police but I didn't.

Anyways, I've been talking to this guy. And I really like him. But for some reason I feel panicked when I realize how much I like him. I almost wish I never talked to him because I feel like im just going to get hurt again. But at the same time he makes me so happy. Why is this? What are the effects of future relationships after being sexually assaulted by your first serious bf? Is this normal?
   
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Re: Confused... - January 28th 2012, 03:47 AM

I'm so sorry that your first boyfriend hurt you like that. It's perfectly normal that you're panicking a bit about getting into another relationship. Your first taste of something can leave a lasting impression. If it's a negative impression, it's incredibly likely that you'll assume everything else will be exactly the same. Take things slow, Mandi. You might like this boy, but you need to move at a pace that is comfortable for you.

Are you talking to someone about all of this? If you're not, I would recommend that you do so. Holding your feelings in is just going to stop you from moving on. By letting them out and talking to someone you trust about what you're really feeling, you will be able to overcome your struggles. I'm not saying it'll be quick, but it will happen.

Take care of yourself. Message me if you need someone to talk to.


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Re: Confused... - January 30th 2012, 04:23 AM

Sammi is completely right, it's perfectly normal for you to feel that way. It sucks, I know, but it's normal. I think you should talk to someone about this like a therapist or counselor. It can really help and they can help you move on from what happened and learn to cope with it and how to cope when you start to feel panicky. I'm sorry to hear that that happened to you, and to hear that it is difficult for you right now, but with help and time, it gets easier to trust being in a relationship.


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