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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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turtle8493 Offline
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old memories coming back - February 16th 2012, 01:47 AM

When I was younger I got into many sticky situations; I was into drugs, alcohol, self harm, etc. When I was 12 I was gang raped by my drug dealer and his friends and then when I was 13 I was raped by a friend. I've had lots of intensive therapy and led a relatively normal life. I used to have really bad flashbacks and felt terrible about myself, but for a couple years this hasn't been so bad. This week though its been horrible though. I can't concentrate in school. I can't sleep. It isn't the anniversary of any of it and nothing traumatic has happened recently. Why would all of this be coming up again if I've already dealt with it? What can I do to make it go away? Its been years... why is it all coming back now?
   
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dani99 Offline
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Re: old memories coming back - February 16th 2012, 01:53 AM

It's trauma. Conciously you've learned to cope with it, but subconsiously it's still stuck in there and still comes around. I had a rough life as a small child with my abusive dad and when I was little, I had dreams of him murdering me starting at the age of 4. He's changed and I know now he won't hurt me, but I still have dreams about him brutally murdering me.


Just a girl with an angel above, just a girl with an angel to love. My angel grew wings and she did dare to fly. But I promise my angel, it's only good night but never good-bye. My angel, my angel in heaven above. My angel, my darling, you'll always have my love. Rest in peace, my sweet darling, it's only temporary that we part. My angel, my angel, how you still do steal my heart </3


   
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will was here Offline
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Re: old memories coming back - February 19th 2012, 02:08 AM

Abuse like that doesn't ever go away completely. It only dulls over time. Eventually it becomes unnoticeable and you can live a normal happy life. but in the time before that things will be very hard. But you have to stay strong. You are not to blame for their heinous acts. And minor relapse is normal. You will get back on track again. I know when I had mental illness the symptoms were scary. they went away after awhile after medication but I sometimes become symptomatic a little. It doesn't mean I'm reverting back to how I was. It's just the cycle of things. I believe you're going through a cycle to. You may just need to talk about things again. I'm available if you need support. pm me or something ok?


flower
hello my heart where have you been
I missed you when you left
you ran away with that senseless boy
and left me dim and dry
like a faded flower in the mist

Come back my heart. you have a home here
In this place that is my soul
I want to feel like whole again. don't waste your time with him

Have faith my heart. You'll get a second chance
come back to me and you will not be alone
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Re: old memories coming back - February 19th 2012, 02:32 AM

Hey there,

I'm glad you've been in therapy and you've started living a normal life because that's the best thing that anyone, who's been through as much as you have, could do. Quite honestly, although it's not easy, it's normal for flashbacks to appear at random. There doesn't have to be a specific trigger, which makes it much more frustrating. I know how hard it must be but if you're still in therapy, communicate with the therapist about how you've been thinking about what's happened to you and tell him/her that you're not feeling all that well about it. I'm sure they'd help you deal with it if you express your concerns. What I do when I have a flashback of any sort is; draw, listen to music, talk to someone about it, write, read a book, eat, come on TeenHelp, etc. I pretty much distract myself so that I won't think about the flashback itself. However, DURING a flashback, I practice breathing exercises that I learned in therapy. Have you learned anything of that sort? Don't let the flashbacks and memories control your life. Try to keep your focus in school, let your mind rest at night so you can sleep, and take care of yourself. You don't need to keep reliving this. This time, you have control. I know it's easier said than done but it CAN be done.

I hope I helped a bit. If you need anything at all, feel free to respond here or PM me, I'd be glad to help you further.

Take care,
Brittany
   
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lauri Offline
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Re: old memories coming back - February 19th 2012, 04:29 AM

As every one else said I think its true tramatic stuff that happens to us will never be completly gone from us it will always be a part of us. I can relate to the dreams and having flashbacks. I was never raped. Just something happened to me when I was 15 that was pretty tramtic I had dreams, flashbacks and other stuff. Im 19 now and have put it all behind me and have healed I think but that doesnt mean it still doesnt hurt. I had a dream very recently of what happened to me. It was very long and vivd and I woke up literaly worried. I had no idea why I was having a dream like that it scared me I saw his face. It worried me because its like its been how long since this happend and I was not even thinking about what happened to me when I was 15 so why did I have such a long vivd dream about it. Literaly scared me and worried me that Im dreaming about this. The whole day it worried me it felt like I was 15 again. It worried me so much I was about to post here on teen help about it.

But what I relized no matter how much I want to say Im over it and wont effect me any more. The truth is it will always be a part of me sucks but is true. Same with you you dont want it to be a part of you any more but in reality it always will be. The postive thing I got out of it was I was stronger in my dream. So I was thinking maybe my dream was trying to tell me something that I really am stronger now. Try to think about other things when your having a flashback thats what I do. Hugsss hope you feel better.
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