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~Lost and shattered~
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Name: Lia
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Question I TOLD HIM!!!!!!!! (and then he told me something) - February 25th 2012, 10:15 PM

ok so i finally told him (boyfriend) that i use to cut and then he told me he was raped!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont kno what to do... can someone give me any advice????

THX,
Lia!!!!!!!!!




4/26/2012 quote of the day at school:
"Someone called me dellusional
and i nearly fell off my
unicorn"
-unknown

"You only get to
be yourself once,
it would be a shame,
it would be a fucking
shame if you didn't
give it your all."

-SlyFoxHound
   
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Re: I TOLD HIM!!!!!!!! (and then he told me something) - February 25th 2012, 10:28 PM

Hey Lia,

Along with the fact that he trusted you enough to tell you such a huge thing, I think it's wonderful that you've found someone to share secrets with. I know how difficult it is to hear someone you care about has experienced such a traumatic experience. What's most important in this situation is that you're there for him. If he needs to talk about what's happened to him, listen. You don't always have to have the best advice, I bet that if you just listen, it'll be enough for him. If you feel like you need to give him advice, you can tell him that talking about it helps, cause it does. Remind him that it wasn't his fault, that he did nothing wrong, and that he didn't deserve it. As long as he knows you're supportive, that will help him more than you know. Along with talking and consoling words, you can give him techniques such as writing, drawing, breathing exercises, etc. to help him deal with the memories or flashbacks.

I hope this helped. Feel free to message me if you need someone to chat with.

Take care,
Brittany
   
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Re: I TOLD HIM!!!!!!!! (and then he told me something) - February 25th 2012, 10:42 PM

Hey Lia,

I think it's really great you've found someone that you can trust and tell these things to, and that he views you in the same way. It's great to have people like that in our lives, and it makes it a lot easier on us at times. Confiding in him took a lot of courage, and a lot of trust. I think that's the important thing to remember here. He was probably just as scared to tell you about being raped as you were to tell him about cutting. How did you want him to react, and what were you hoping the outcome would be when you told him? Give him that outcome, and that support you were looking for. Give him the understanding and the person he needs to talk to. Everything you imagine or wanted him to give you when you told him about cutting, give to him. All you can be is supportive and be there for him when and if he needs someone.

I'm going to guess that when you told him about your cutting you hoped he wouldn't treat you any differently. So try to do the same for him. Don't treat him like he is a victim, but make it clear, at the same time, that you are always there for him. He's still the same person that you've always known. I hope that everything continues to go well for the both of you, and that you are both able to find the support you need in each other. Good luck.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: I TOLD HIM!!!!!!!! (and then he told me something) - February 26th 2012, 12:05 AM

thx guys!!!!! I just hoped he wouldnt call me something like "Emo bitch" or whatnot and he didnt my friend was also raped once i came out of shock i treated her the same... so im just in shock rite now...

THX AGAIN,
Lia!!!!!!




4/26/2012 quote of the day at school:
"Someone called me dellusional
and i nearly fell off my
unicorn"
-unknown

"You only get to
be yourself once,
it would be a shame,
it would be a fucking
shame if you didn't
give it your all."

-SlyFoxHound
   
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