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abbiekadabbie Offline
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Question I dont know how to deal with this. - March 6th 2012, 04:03 AM

My best friend called me about an hour and a half ago crying and saying that she had been raped. Im trying to be there for her as best as i can but i dont know what to do. Please i really need help fast.
   
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Re: I dont know how to deal with this. - March 6th 2012, 04:31 AM

Tell an adult?
   
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Re: I dont know how to deal with this. - March 6th 2012, 06:25 AM

I think you should try to tell her that it'd be best for her to tell the authorities. It's scary, but she needs to tell someone. After something like rape, a person needs to make sure they haven't contracted an STD, or gotten pregnant, and also need therapy to learn to deal with what happened and move forward from it. It's hard but with help she can. And it'd be better if she told the authorities so this person can't do this again.


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Re: I dont know how to deal with this. - March 6th 2012, 06:31 AM

she went to the hospital with her mom
   
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Re: I dont know how to deal with this. - March 6th 2012, 09:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by abbiekadabbie View Post
she went to the hospital with her mom
Now that her mom knows, all you have to do is be there for her. You should probably text her that too so she doesn't feel alone.


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Re: I dont know how to deal with this. - March 6th 2012, 10:15 AM

Ive been on and off of the phone with her all night.
   
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Re: I dont know how to deal with this. - March 6th 2012, 06:54 PM

Hey there,

I know it's a scary situation to be in but you're doing everything right and so is she. She's told you, she's told her mom, and she's gone to the hospital. Your job is just to be there for her and lend her a listening ear.

You're an amazing friend for being strong for her throughout this process. <3
   
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Re: I dont know how to deal with this. - March 6th 2012, 07:55 PM

I just wish there was something more i could do for her. I was over at her house for five hours and my mom let me skip school but i had to leave so that i could take care of my uncle.
   
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Re: I dont know how to deal with this. - March 7th 2012, 12:23 AM

Oh, how awful, Abbie. She's done everything she should have by telling her mom and going to the hospital. And so have you, you're a good friend.

There are two things in these situations that often help. The first is to ask the other person directly what you can do, what would be helpful. It's hard to watch someone you care about in shock and then try to figure out what they need and what would be a good thing. So ask.

The other is to realize your own limitations here. Not only are you just one person, you're also having an emotional reaction to this as well. So, know that it's OK to take a break. It's exhausting, you have other responsibilities, and your ability to really help will be limited by these other things.

Lastly, most hospitals as part of the rape exam automatically have a rape crisis counselor talk with the victim. If this has happened, you might encourage your friend to continue meeting with her. If it hasn't, suggest it.
   
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Re: I dont know how to deal with this. - March 7th 2012, 11:47 PM

Im just scared that she gonna try to kill herself. Shes tried stuff like that before and I dont know what i would do if i lost her. Shes acting like it never happened. (She'll talk about it but it still seems like it really hasnt hit her yet). I terrified of what will happen when it does hit her.
   
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Re: I dont know how to deal with this. - March 8th 2012, 12:11 AM

Abbie, she has to find her own way here, all you can do is be there for her. A lot of people deal with trauma by pushing it aside for a while, sometimes it's easier to get on with life and move beyond the horror. This isn't a bad thing, nor is it necessarily a sign that you need to worry.

If you have some indication (other than fear) that she might hurt herself, tell her folks!
   
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Re: I dont know how to deal with this. - March 8th 2012, 12:13 AM

thank you so much for all the advice
   
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