TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Voldermorts Stalker
I can't get enough
*********
 
WhisperingSilence's Avatar
 
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: where ever the coffee is

Posts: 3,469
Blog Entries: 1476
Join Date: January 6th 2009

can they still tell someone ? - March 27th 2012, 04:18 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

In the past my postman sexually abused me. Recently I've been thinking about it all a-lot more. It's in the past - I don't see him anymore. He's retired. And I've been thinking about when I get into the long term part under AMHT (adult mental health team) about maybe telling them about the postman. I've thought about telling the police about him in the past but never have. It's not exactly a protection issue more just something that even though it's stopped still affects me. So what I'm wondering is this . If was to tell them would they have to tell someone else given I'm 21 and I know longer see the postman as he's retired ? Or would it stay between me and them ? Sorry if this doesn't make much sense.



BADGER BADGER BADGER.........MUSHROOM!!!
Videos team
, articles team and helplink mentor and associate live help operator.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
Newsletter Tips Writer
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Kate*'s Avatar
 
Name: Katie
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 4,717
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: can they still tell someone ? - March 27th 2012, 04:35 PM

If you're 21 and you no longer have contact with this person I don't think they would have to tell anyone, especially because the police probably can't do anything now since the statute of limitations has run out depending how long ago this happened. Even if they did have to tell someone you should still bring it up with them so they can help you with it.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Voldermorts Stalker
I can't get enough
*********
 
WhisperingSilence's Avatar
 
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: where ever the coffee is

Posts: 3,469
Blog Entries: 1476
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: can they still tell someone ? - March 27th 2012, 04:49 PM

It started when I was about 12 and stopped half the year before I turned 17. So it stopped a couple of years ago.



BADGER BADGER BADGER.........MUSHROOM!!!
Videos team
, articles team and helplink mentor and associate live help operator.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Stargazed. Offline
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Stargazed.'s Avatar
 

Posts: 3,532
Join Date: October 3rd 2010

Re: can they still tell someone ? - March 27th 2012, 04:53 PM

I'm unsure of how it works where you are but I'm almost certain that seeing as you are of legal age and that you have no contact with that man anymore, they won't have to report it. I mean, if he was still active as a postman, then yes, they'd report it for protection of you and/or other women. I agree with Katie though. Even if they were to report it, in order to get the proper help you deserve, you should still talk about it.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Voldermorts Stalker
I can't get enough
*********
 
WhisperingSilence's Avatar
 
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: where ever the coffee is

Posts: 3,469
Blog Entries: 1476
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: can they still tell someone ? - March 27th 2012, 04:59 PM

ok. If they did still have to report it, would my parents need to know - because of it all started off with my mum telling me that when I walked to school ect that if I ever needed help or got lost and it was in the mornings I was to ask the postman for directions as my mum trusted him ect. And I don't want my mum knowing because I know she would blame herself. When it wasn't her fault but my fault because I let him touch me ect. And if my dad found it would make him drink more.



BADGER BADGER BADGER.........MUSHROOM!!!
Videos team
, articles team and helplink mentor and associate live help operator.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
Newsletter Tips Writer
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Kate*'s Avatar
 
Name: Katie
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 4,717
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: can they still tell someone ? - March 27th 2012, 05:03 PM

I don't think they would have to know and it was NOT your or anyone else's fault but his. It also isn't your job to keep your dad from drinking, that's something he has to control for himself.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Stargazed. Offline
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Stargazed.'s Avatar
 

Posts: 3,532
Join Date: October 3rd 2010

Re: can they still tell someone ? - March 27th 2012, 05:12 PM

The only way your parents would know is if you told them. You're of legal age and you can decide who knows what now. I also want to point out that it's not either of your faults, and talking about it to a counselour (or whoever from AMHT), is really going to help you.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Dr.Bobby Offline
Psychologist
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Dr.Bobby's Avatar
 
Age: 62
Gender: Male

Posts: 864
Join Date: September 9th 2011

Re: can they still tell someone ? - March 27th 2012, 05:27 PM

Wait.

The issue here is your recovery. In order for that to happen, you have to talk with your therapist about all this. What happens after that becomes part of the therapy.

Also, consider that there's a predator out there who can abuse others as he unfortunately did to you. By informing the police yourself, you very well might be preventing...or maybe even stopping..active abuse.


PM me with the link of the post you'd like me to respond to.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Disneygirl94 Offline
I believe I Can Fly
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
Disneygirl94's Avatar
 
Name: Kaitlyn
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Illinois

Posts: 544
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: July 27th 2011

Re: can they still tell someone ? - March 27th 2012, 06:08 PM

I agree with Dr.Bobby, you should really see a therapist if you haven't already. Also, reporting it your postman could become a sexual preditar and be put on the sex offender website to inform those around him.


"My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return. "
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Voldermorts Stalker
I can't get enough
*********
 
WhisperingSilence's Avatar
 
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: where ever the coffee is

Posts: 3,469
Blog Entries: 1476
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: can they still tell someone ? - March 27th 2012, 09:26 PM

I've never told anyone other than my ex who decided to take the opportunity and use it against me. I'm also scared to tell the police, I don't even have a new counsellor yet I'm wondering for when I do have a new counsellor and tell them.



BADGER BADGER BADGER.........MUSHROOM!!!
Videos team
, articles team and helplink mentor and associate live help operator.
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Dr.Bobby Offline
Psychologist
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Dr.Bobby's Avatar
 
Age: 62
Gender: Male

Posts: 864
Join Date: September 9th 2011

Re: can they still tell someone ? - March 28th 2012, 02:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr.Bobby View Post
Wait.

The issue here is your recovery. In order for that to happen, you have to talk with your therapist about all this. What happens after that becomes part of the therapy.

Also, consider that there's a predator out there who can abuse others as he unfortunately did to you. By informing the police yourself, you very well might be preventing...or maybe even stopping..active abuse.
Can I quote myself, or is the space not also big enough for my ego?

Take it a step at a time here, you've been thru a traumatic experience. The first step is to find a good therapist and begin the work. Everything else will follow from that.

Also, please keep in mind that your past experience with 'Telling' isn't at all like sharing in a treatment process like therapy. The doc is a professional and will help you address it in a way that is constructive.

Go...


PM me with the link of the post you'd like me to respond to.
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
.:Bibliophile:. Offline
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
.:Bibliophile:.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Just me

Posts: 17,301
Blog Entries: 1796
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: can they still tell someone ? - March 28th 2012, 04:37 PM

Hey there,

I think it is extremely important that you talk to someone about what has happened to you. The best way to heal from abuse is by talking about it! I know that talking about it can be difficult but in the end it will help you get out all the bad feelings you are dealing with and get to a better place. Healing is possible.

If you need to talk please feel free to pm me.


|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.