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Question Ruined at 13 (opinions?) - April 4th 2012, 05:46 AM

I feel that I have been sort of warped sexually by my past, I was told what sexual intercourse is, where babies come from, and how to do it at the age 9 when I started suffering from psychosis due to ADD medication and so from there on I have been sort of screwed up when it comes to sexual things. And it only got worse when I was 13 or 12 years old and a baby sitter who was only there because of my younger brother, was on meth. I remember what happened the night she sneaked into my room while I was pretending to sleep (insomnia), laid next to me and started whispering things to someone named Brian or something and gave me an unwanted involuntary and violent hand job. I don't really have flashbacks but sometimes I feel deep in my subconscious somewhere that memory fucks me up which is why I sometimes cannot cum when with the women I have sexual relations with...Idk could there be a connection.
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Re: Ruined at 13 (opinions?) - April 4th 2012, 07:34 AM

Pretty sure you were the one who posted about this yesterday/the day before but left out the trauma bit. Hopefully this advice is more helpful

The possibility that your inability to ejaculate at times and the traumatic event being linked is quite possible - but impossible to know for certain. If you are only having trouble some of the time ejaculating i am guessing it is most likely a psychological issue - and that event may be the issue but again it is impossible to be certain.

Unfortunately if this is the case and the traumatic event is actually the cause of this problem, i know of nothing that can be done in terms of advice giving besides seeking professional help from a counselor/psychologist since they could help to break down the traumatic event for you and stop it from becoming a physical block.

I hope this gets sorted for you soon.

Last edited by matt30822; April 4th 2012 at 07:42 AM.
   
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Re: Ruined at 13 (opinions?) - April 4th 2012, 02:26 PM

What I find weird to your story is that she was lying next to you. Babysitter shouldn't be doing that. It's like laying next to a stranger. I agree with matt seeking professional help would be for the best.
   
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Re: Ruined at 13 (opinions?) - April 4th 2012, 04:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by matt30822 View Post
Pretty sure you were the one who posted about this yesterday/the day before but left out the trauma bit. Hopefully this advice is more helpful

The possibility that your inability to ejaculate at times and the traumatic event being linked is quite possible - but impossible to know for certain. If you are only having trouble some of the time ejaculating i am guessing it is most likely a psychological issue - and that event may be the issue but again it is impossible to be certain.

Unfortunately if this is the case and the traumatic event is actually the cause of this problem, i know of nothing that can be done in terms of advice giving besides seeking professional help from a counselor/psychologist since they could help to break down the traumatic event for you and stop it from becoming a physical block.

I hope this gets sorted for you soon.

^ . This. Nicely said!

The ability to ejaculate is biological, it's hard wired into us. So, in the absence of some obvious physical trauma, the cause for that inability is almost always psychological. So, the difficulties you're encountering are most probably the result of those earlier, traumatic experiences.

I'll disagree with your primary assumption, though, about 'Being ruined for life'. It's regrettable that you were the subject of abuse and trauma, and although the memories will be with you, the effects do not have to be endured "Forever". Get some psychological help and put this in perspective so you can leave it where it belongs..in your past.


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Re: Ruined at 13 (opinions?) - April 5th 2012, 05:27 AM

well Cassie999 with "Babysitter shouldn't be doing that. It's like laying next to a stranger." she was high on meth which is why...I was forced to cum literally, I don't get it but it keeps coming up in my mind, I will see a professional maybe. I hope.
   
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Re: Ruined at 13 (opinions?) - April 5th 2012, 12:07 PM

Hi there!
I don't want you insult you or offend you atall, but i do have question-
Why didn't you stop her? leave the room or the bed? I know you didn't want her to do it but it didn't seem like she was keeping you there by force? Although maybe fear.
But i do sympathise with what has happened to you don't get what i'm saying wrong please.
I Would agree that speaking to a professional would really help you emotionally and mentally work through what has happened to you in the past and i feel like the others, your sexual problem is most likely related to this incident in your past.
As you say yourself you were 'forced' to ejaculate so i think that might be key? you feel you were forced to do it against your will so now, you don't want to do it etc?
Just my opinion.
Good luck.






   
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Re: Ruined at 13 (opinions?) - April 5th 2012, 01:10 PM

Maybe it will help if you go and see a Docter.
   
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Re: Ruined at 13 (opinions?) - April 5th 2012, 11:59 PM

yeh...and I can remember wanting to leave but again I had a lot of issues with mental functioning back then, I think I went into shock, cuz I had cuddled with girls when I was 13, became use to it but never had any sexual activity and it kind of put me in a shock because I took medications for ADD which induced psychosis. (Drug name: Concerta)
...this world is so fucked up
   
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Re: Ruined at 13 (opinions?) - April 6th 2012, 02:11 AM

Considering i've known about sex since i was 4 and was fully educated on the basics of sex(by myself, through investigation etc) I can't say it's likely learning at a young age 'warped' you.

On the other hand the sexual abuse that you experienced is quite a possible reason why you have trouble at times. Because when people are abused they tend to relate anything similar to that experience to what they are currently experiencing. It takes time and for most people someone to talk to it about it to get through the past.
   
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Re: Ruined at 13 (opinions?) - April 6th 2012, 07:54 AM

I don't think that learning about sex at 9 years old has much to do with it - over here, most children are taught about sex in school between the ages of 9 and 10.
However, the event when you were 12/13 could definitely contribute to a sort of psychological block when it comes to ejaculation. More people than you might realise have this problem, and i definitely think that a trip to the doctors would help.
   
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Re: Ruined at 13 (opinions?) - April 6th 2012, 10:42 PM

well...did it...staring at 4 weeks of therapy to see if it improves me any
   
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