So mad, but can't fix anything... -
April 30th 2012, 09:19 PM
I don't know what to do about this. I miss out on so many good things because I'm not strong, super-smart (I kinda am, but my ADD and Asperger's counteract it.), fast, or anything else that girls want in a guy. Then, I see all these nice, sweet girls torture themselves trying to pretty themselves up to impress those insensitive jerks who are, even though those girls were always pretty. It sucks, but the real problem is how mad I get every time it happens. It's not normal for me, and I don't express it at all around others, but I get so furious that I can't think of anything else but how much I hate them. No one knows, but I just keep getting madder and madder and I don't know how much more I can hold in. I won't rampage around beating the living crap out of everyone that made me mad (though I could), but the only way I can fix this is by showing those girls that I really am man enough for them. I don't like to pick fights, though I have had to defend myself sometimes. I have been ambushed once, by the kind of guys that normally enrage me, but when those guys had me backed into a corner, I went berserk. I lost it, and I quickly overwhelmed all eight of them. I was a complete monster then, so much so that I even scared myself. I just got so freaked out, and remembering how much I hate guys like them just made me wreck them until they got scared and ran away.
1.)My first and middle initials spell "it".
2.)My first and last initials spell "is".
3.)My first, middle, and last initials all spell "its".
4.)Say my first name, then my middle initial. Ian-T sounds like TNT.
Last edited by Teddy Bear; April 30th 2012 at 10:23 PM.
Reason: Something better left unsaid.
Re: So mad, but can't fix anything... -
May 1st 2012, 07:53 PM
I'm not in the right place to write a fully comprehensive reply right now, but I can empathise with how frustrating it must be for you. On one hand, your conditions hold you back, but on the other, when interest does arise, you feel smothered and possibly trapped. I can empathise with how that feels.
I'm sure you are a smart and intriguing girl, sometimes it's not easy for others to know how to approach such a person (I, myself, am complex enough!) but try to see that as a positive attribute. It may be very difficult to find the right person who can give you the patience to appreciate your paradoxical qualities, but equally it is impossible to change the actions of others, as they have a right to their own minds, and actions, as long as they don't hurt others, of course.
I can sympathise with your frustration, but in my own experience I have also come to realise that there is only so much control I have, and that I cannot project that control onto others, although my own illnesses seek to do so, at times. There are definitely times i'd like to 'hit people over the head with a frying pan' as I phrase it because I wish that my own capabilites as a person could surface, engage and present in a way they seem to find so easy.
Remember you're doing the best you can in any given moment, and strive to exude that personal light you hold inside, however difficult it may be to portray. I believe in you, and the beautiful qualities which, given the opportunity, can shine through. There will be people who will see and acknowledge them, but also give you the space you need to be comfortable in your own self in order to progress emotionally at your own pace.