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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Exclamation WTF Diagnosis! - May 26th 2012, 04:45 AM

My boyfriend has been having a lot of problems with stress recently (mostly because of finals and getting a summer job and all that), so he decided to make an appointment with a counselor at his school to make sure it wasn't anything major. He comes back and tells me he's been diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

I've studied PTSD extensively as part of my weird and varied interests (syphillis and teratology being some others). I know the symptoms, and my boyfriend shows none of the symptoms.

The biggest issue I have is with the actual "trauma" part. My boyfriend and I trust each other completely and tell each other everything. He confides in my when he's frustrated with his parents, he's told me about a huge fight his grandfather had with his parents a few years ago, everything. Surely he would have told me if there was something serious enough to cause PTSD!

He said the counselor told him his Dad might have caused it. His Dad was a Marine, and has told my boyfriend some pretty crazy things, but would that be enough to cause PTSD?

Another thing, this hasn't been going on for long. He's only been stressed out the past few weeks. He's been rejected from a job, not done too well on finals, and had to quit Civil Air Patrol because of some disagreements with other people there. Plus, very recently (I've noticed the change) his mom has been getting angry at him over stupid things (example: today she said he would have to drive me home instead of riding out bikes because it was dark out, then got mad at him for using the car even though she gave him permission). He's been under a lot of stress, but only very recently, within the past month or two.

What the hell is going on? What do I do now?


"Hearing is believing, music is decieving
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-Music of the Night as sung by Michael Crawford ♥
   
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Re: WTF Diagnosis! - May 26th 2012, 09:50 AM

I highly doubt that if he was diagnosed by a school counselor that they were qualified to do that. Has he only seen the school counselor, or did he visit a doctor or someone actually qualified to make a diagnosis? If not, I'd recommend that he gets a second opinion from someone actually qualified. He can do this by visiting his doctor, who can either diagnose him or refer him onto someone who can.

Does he have an issue with his diagnosis? If he doesn't think that it's correct, even if the person who diagnosed him was qualified, he can still seek a second opinion. I'd recommend that you talk to him, and find out what he thinks about all of this, if you haven't already.

However, there may be a possibility that he does have PTSD. I wouldn't be able to tell you, because I'm not a professional and I don't know him, but just you may have missed something in your research, or he may have shown symptoms to the counselor that he didn't show to you.

Either way, if you're both worried about this, a second opinion might be a good idea.


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Re: WTF Diagnosis! - May 27th 2012, 03:19 AM

He seems pretty okay with the diagnosis. He jokes about it. He told me yesterday he just wanted to know what was "wrong" with him, and that he feels perfectly fine, he just wanted to make sure he was "okay" now. He also said that because of just pressure in his life, every once in a while (he said every 5 or so years as an estimate, so very rarely), he just has a period of a few days where he feels really stressed.

The thing really bugging me though is that PTSD doesn't just "go away" like his stress did when school ended. PTSD isn't just a few day or few week long thing that goes away.

I guess I'm just really worried because him having/developing PTSD is actually my biggest fear. He just enlisted in the Air Force, and I've done a lot of research on military-related PTSD. I'm afraid that if he does develop PTSD sometime in the future, he'll deny it because he thinks he already has it and won't get treatment. He's not getting any treatment right now because he feels fine, he's doing great. I noticed he was stressed for the past month, but with school finals, his mom acting a bit sensitive and tempermental, and not getting a job he thought he could get because he failed the test three times, stress seems normal there. Within the past 1-2 weeks, he's been back to his old self. School ended, and he has multiple other job opportunities at the moment.

Another worry He was told that his father "gave" him PTSD. I have no trouble believing that his dad has PTSD. His dad was a marine, and has been through some pretty bad stuff. I've seen his dad react to certain things. The thing is, my boyfriend genuinely believes that PTSD was passed down to him through his dad. I'm not a psychologist, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way!

How do I talk to him about this without making it seem like I don't care about what the counselor said or seem like I'm trying to act smart or something?


"Hearing is believing, music is decieving
Hard as lightning, soft as candlelight
Dare you trust the music of the night?
Close your eyes, for your eyes will only tell the truth
And the truth isn't what you want to see
In the dark it is easy to pretend
That the truth is what it ought to be."

-Music of the Night as sung by Michael Crawford ♥
   
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Re: WTF Diagnosis! - May 27th 2012, 08:06 AM

I'd recommend sitting down with him and explaining everything that you've just told us. You seem more confused about the diagnosis, than actually seriously questioning it. I'd also recommend suggesting a second opinion. Explain your worries about it getting worse in the future and him not seeking treatment. Basically, because it is his diagnosis and his condition, you can't force him to do anything and if he chooses to not see anyone else or not seek treatment or whatever, there isn't much you can do. But you can communicate with him, and explain your worries.


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Re: WTF Diagnosis! - May 27th 2012, 10:02 AM

I had an ex with PTSD post-military service. I haven't looked into it that much myself, but i'd strongly recommend a second opinion, as suggested above. I don't think PTSD can be 'handed down', but perhaps (i dont know) his father's PTSD in some ways makes him predisposed? As i said, i don't know enough about this particular disorder, but i've seen how debilitating it can be for my ex, and one of my best friends who's been recently diagnosed for other reasons, with it.

Discuss your questions with your boyfriend, in a non-accusative or judgemental way, and suggest he gets a second opinion.

The good news is whether this is PTSD or normal stress that's got on top of him recently, you care and are there for him. Perhaps there are other stressors he hasn't told anyone about, as far as i'm aware, PTSD can definitely be triggered, and is present as an underlying condition, but only comes out in certain situations.

Hope that helps


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