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Unhappy Bipolar? Anxiety disorder?....I'm worthless - May 31st 2012, 08:25 AM

Tonight I had like this manic explosion. I got really really really upset and through my glasses down and slammed a gate shut hard enough it broke. I was thoroughly surprised at myself. Like this switch flipped inside me.

I have diagnosed depression and anorexia and I'm recovering from cutting. I think I have anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder but idk for sure. After what happened tonight I took an online quiz to see if I have bipolar disorder and it says I have moderate to severe symptoms. Idk if I should believe it or not.

I asked my boyfriend about to and he says it's hereditary and I think my mom has it undiagnosed. I'm going to see my doctor with my bf next week but I'm really afraid of what they are gunna say. With the anorexia, depression and cutting I already feel like such a failure but if I have more shit wrong with my i will just be worthless.

Idk what I'm really asking for but i guess if anyone knows much about bipolar disorder any info would help.....I feel worthless


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Re: Bipolar? Anxiety disorder?....I'm worthless - May 31st 2012, 10:49 AM

Although you weren't asking for a diagnosis, just know ahead of time that none of us here can diagnose you with anything. We're allowed to say what something sounds like, but you cannot take what any of us say as an actual diagnosis and you should still see a professional if you think something else is wrong.
Anyway, I don't believe you can have depression and bipolar disorder at the same time. What bipolar disorder, aka manic depression is, is it's a disorder in which you will go through periods of depressive states and periods of manic states. Being manic isn't how you described it- in a manic state, a bipolar person will want to do things like try extreme activities, spend a lot of money, etc. They will feel unbelievably happy. So do you see how you can't have bipolar disorder and depression at the same time? You either have bipolar disorder, depression, or neither depression or bipolar disorder.
Also, having disorders does NOT make you worthless OR a failure. There are many successful people who have disorders, and lots of them have mental disorders. I have an anxiety disorder, does that make me a worthless failure? Nope.
I don't think you're worthless or a failure just because you have depression and are anorexic.
Hope this helped!


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Re: Bipolar? Anxiety disorder?....I'm worthless - May 31st 2012, 12:29 PM

Hey, i know how disheartened you must feel. Sarah is right, we can't diagnose you, but because we suffer from different illnesses or problems, we can try and advise you. What you describe sounds like you were in a highly stressed out and despairing state, which is completely understandable with all you're experiencing, but Bipolar is a disorder quite different. The best way to find out is to ask a mental health professional, or your doctor. Another diagnosis added to your current ones may be stressful and upsetting, if it's given, but on the positive side, at least you have a better idea of what you're dealing with. I'd suggest a second face-to-face evaluation and opinion. Remember we're here to help and support you, some of us struggle with similar or same issues, and you're not alone!!! I hope things get better for you. Keep fighting!


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Re: Bipolar? Anxiety disorder?....I'm worthless - June 3rd 2012, 03:17 PM

Well, I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you're not really sure about what Bipolar Disorder truly is. I mean, your "Manic explosion" sounds more like a bit of anger/upset. Mania is an extreme euphoria, that is extremely disruptive in a different way, and has nothing to do with the Depressive feelings. Plus, online quizzes are no good for diagnosis (especially since a huge majority of them are broad questions, with answers that almost anybody would be able to answer "YES" to).

I suggest that, if you have been diagnosed with Depression, you discuss treatments (therapy, medication..?) and get started with those, to help you feel better, so you don't have to worry as much about these explosive moods, nor depressive episodes.


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Re: Bipolar? Anxiety disorder?....I'm worthless - June 3rd 2012, 06:32 PM

Go see a doctor. You need help, no matter what it is.
I wish you all the best luck.

If you ever need anything, feel free to send me a PM.
I'm here for you, if you ever need to talk.

Warms,
Lucy
   
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