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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 10:27 AM

First I want to say I have borderline and a mood disorder so this might be why im feeling this way. BUT I JUST HIT THE JACK POD WITH SOMETHING AND IT IS I found my therapist fb and she has every thing where it is seen that means I can see her pictures yes pictures

IM LITERALLY RIGHT NOW LAUGH HISTARICALLY I DONT KNOW WHY AND THE PICS ARENT THAT FUNNY I JUST FEEL SO CLOSE TO HER NOW AND IM NOT GOING TO BLOW IT BY TELLING HER I FOUND HER FB BECAUSE THEN SHE WOULD BLOCK ME AN DI WOULDNT BE ABLE TO SEE ANY THING.

IM GOING TO PRINT THE PICS OFFF OMG WHY AM I LAUGHING HISTARACIALLY WHY I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND . IM LAUGHING HISTARACIALLY AND A TTHE SAME TIME FEELING LIKE CRYING AND IM GETTING REALLY SWEATING I GUESS BECAUSE IM A LITTLE NERVOS

BUT IM SO EXCITEDDDDDDDDDDD. I HIT THE JACK POT ON THIS ONE MY LAST THERAPIST i COULDNT SEE ANY THING ON HER FB.

Last edited by lauri; June 5th 2012 at 10:33 AM.
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 10:41 AM

Hey Lauri, just so you know, what you're doing (if you print the pictures) is an invasion of your therapist's privacy. FB is about people's private lives and their friends most of the time, you're her client, so although her facebook is public and you can see her pictures, you should in no way take advantage of this.

Seriously, don't stalk your therapist. Just don't. Viewing her stuff is ok, printing it, or obsessively checking it, is not.

Also, if you really wanted to be adult about it, you could let your therapist know that you found her facebook, and suggest to her that she make it private, for her own safety.

Come on Lauri, be the grown up about this.
   
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 10:48 AM

yeah, i think the borderline is probably why you're feeling like this. I also think that your therapist has a right to privacy outside of work. Yes, she should really know that anyone can see her profile if she doesn't change her account settings, but I think that you also have a responsibility to respect and understand boundaries. How would you feel if as a therapist, one of your clients was phoning you constantly, sending rude emails and finding you on facebook and printing off your photos? Personally, I think you should be honest with her, because I think she deserves the chance to change her settings to private. She is your therapist, but she has a right to a social life and she has the right to privacy. Sorry if that sounded rude, but I really think that printing off her photos is crossing the line, Lauri. I know you want to be close to her, but she has to have proffessional boundaries or she will end up taking her work home with her and that will cause a great deal of stress for her. If you respect her, then I really hope you will tell her.
Printing off her photos and checking her fb all the time is stalking, Lauri, you could get into a lot of trouble unless you stop.
   
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 10:48 AM

IM LAUGHING HYSTARICALLY I HAVE NO CLUE WHY BUT I CANT STOP LAUGHING

IM SORRY I WONT TELL HER I WANT TO PRINT THIS PIC OFFF I FEEL LIKE I KNOW HER NOW ITS AMAZINGGG

I HAVE TO SEE HER THIS WEEK AND I JUST KNOW IM GOING TO LAUGH HYSTARICALLY IN HER OFFICE AND SHE PROBABLY SAY WHAT AND I CANT SAY WHAT .

can you tell em why im laughing hystrically when its not funny
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 10:55 AM

One of the reasons why you are laughing could be because you are doing something that you know is wrong. Doing things that we know we are not allowed to do can be exciting. I strongly urge you to do the right thing Lauri. How would you feel if someone was invading your privacy? Could you tell your parents about this? maybe they can help you?
   
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 11:04 AM

my parents were furious what I did to my last therapist on fb was what I did was I made fake fb accounts and tryed to add my therapist using the fake fb account she didnt add me so I messaged her saying add me or ill kill myself several times. She didnt know for a while it was me but then eventually found out.

So if I tell my mom this time she will tell me to get the hell off and she would probably tell my therapist I saw everything so I cant but im still laughing
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 11:43 AM

Your parents love you and want the best for you. They want you to be happy. Bearing that in mind, why do you think they were so angry when you did this to your last therapist? What can you learn from that? Society has rules for a reason. Sometimes there are things that we want to do, but we have to think carefully and do what is right, not what we want. Think about the consequences - your therapist will find out on her own eventually and when that happens, it will be worse for you. You could lose your therapist because of this. You need to think about what your best option is: tell your parents or therapist and be told off, or wait for them to find out on their own, lose your therapist and get into a load more trouble.
   
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 11:53 AM

I might as well just be sent to a mental hospital and be locked up forever LOL sorry im hiting the print button. and she wont find out because i didnt add her as a friend on fb and i might laugh hystracially in her office this thursday but Ill try my best to not say why. Thanksssss I know your right and some of society rules are hurting people and need to be changed
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 11:53 AM

Therapists are people too you know...


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 12:01 PM

Yes they are people and thats why she should love m not like that Im straight and we should be friends {: I really care about my therapist and I love her not like that im straight
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 12:04 PM

Lauri, therapists don't love their clients, and neither should they be expected to.

You have to get over this creepy over-attachment to your therapist thing. It's only going to damage both you and her.

It's in your best interests to accept that she is your therapist, and you are her client, and it will never - never, never, never - be anything more than that.

And if you can't accept that, then at least do the her the courtesy of not e-stalking her.
   
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 12:07 PM

yes they should and when im a therapist ill love my clients. IM SORRY I JUST LIEKE MY THERAPIST SO MUCH AS A FRIEND I JUST GET WHERE ITS A DDICTION AND I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HER SERIOUSLY I DONT KNOW WHATS WROGN WITH ME BUT I GET EXTREMLY ATTACHED TO MY THERAPIST AND ALL I CAN DO IS DAY DREAM ABOUT THEM AND THINK OF THEM 24 7
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 12:11 PM

If all you think about is your therapist, then chances are you need a hobby.
   
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 12:32 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 12:46 PM

Lauri, I've read your threads and I know all about the attachment problem you're having with your therapist; you may not think being so attached to her is a problem, but it really is. You have to get over this attachment, and you definitely need to stay away from her facebook account. You're basically stalking her here, and it is in no way healthy. Please, stop and think about this. What you're doing isn't right, and you need to stop.


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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 07:57 PM

Hi there Lauri,

I have to pretty much agree with all of the above. You shouldn't be 'stalking' your therapist on facebook and you definately should not be printing of these photos. Your therapist has her own life away from her life and patients. Now, I know you have problems with attctchment and relationships and was wondering if you have ever looked into IPT (Interpersonal therapy)? This can help you know and understand the social roles of people around you as well as help you to make relationships and maintain them on an appropiate level. Its used a lot for those people with BPD and can also help you come to terms when someone close to you dies or retires for example. It might be something worth looking in to.

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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 09:52 PM

As someone with a potential career in psychotherapy, this thread bothers me. Lauri, the others are right, and I agree with Jessie's suggestion above. You need to know what the boundaries are between you and your therapist and respect her privacy, otherwise you could be hindering any progress she might help you make.


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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 10:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lauri View Post
Yes they are people and thats why she should love m not like that Im straight and we should be friends {: I really care about my therapist and I love her not like that im straight
If you love your therapist then why would you go behind her back and stalk her facebook? If you want her to like who you are then you shouldn't do something that you know she wouldn't like. I can see how its easy to get attached to your therapist as they are there for you to talk about your problems with, but as others said they don't have to be friends with you or love you. This relationship you have is purely professional and nothing more. You shouldn't try and push against this.
And does false friendship really make you happy? Sure, you could print out her pictures and pretend like you're friends. But you know that it isn't true and that its just pretend, so why do it? I don't think its going to help you in any way except to fuel the fire for wanting her to be friends with you.


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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 10:41 PM

But its not pretend its real
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 5th 2012, 10:45 PM

I just wanted to know about her and I dont think what I did was wrong I have diffrent views on what therapist should and should not do. I now no about her more it feels good because I wouldnt have known it other wise she probably wouldnt tell me everything and its also nice to see what her bf looks like and what her mom and dad look like and what her siblings look like.

Its not pretend its real. I dont think Im hurting her because Im not hurting her by wanting to be closer to her and know more about her every one gets curios.
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 6th 2012, 12:13 AM

Hey Lauri,

You could have asked more about her as a person, I talked to my guidance counselor in high school a lot about her high school/college life when I was preparing to go to college, so would tell me things so that I can know what it was like for her. What you did was just an invasion of her privacy. It's one thing to accidentally find her, you know, I have found a couple of my teachers before, laughed that they have a Facebook, but I wouldn't go stalking their profiles. And a better question, why are you printing off the pictures? Would she want you doing this? You've already had problems with your therapist in the past, I'm just very unsure why you would do this only to cause more issues between you. I would not print these pictures, and not visit her Facebook again. None of what is on her page is your business unless she wants to tell you.


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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 6th 2012, 01:06 AM

Pretty sure Jesus wouldn't approve of you going through her stuff.


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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 6th 2012, 01:06 AM

It's definitely easy to get attached to your therapist, since you're trusting her with your innermost secrets. But, your relationship really doesn't go beyond a therapist-client one. As Traci said, if you want to know more about her, you could always ask her. When I first met my therapist, I asked her to tell me a little bit about herself because it made it easier for me to trust her. She was completely fine with doing so - your therapist might be too. However, checking her Facebook all the time and printing off pictures is way over the top. In fact, it's borderline stalking. You said you care about your therapist, right? If you do, why would you want to do something that she probably wouldn't appreciate? I really think you need to re-evaluate your actions and give her the respect and privacy that she deserves.



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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 6th 2012, 01:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lauri View Post
But its not pretend its real
As Traci said, you could have just asked her about herself. If the only reason you know some things about her is because you stalked her facebook then it isn't exactly a real friendship. The fact that your communication is professional emphasizes the fact of that.
I'm glad it made you feel close to her but you seem to be aware that she wouldn't want you printing off her pictures or looking at her profile which is why you aren't telling her. So that would be doing something wrong.
I think it would be best to respect her privacy and only interact in a way that you wouldn't be afraid to tell the truth about. Hiding things generally is never a good idea.


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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 6th 2012, 01:10 AM

You are seriously invading her privacy, breaking boundaries she is trying to set, and being disrespectful. I think you need to develop some better self control-- sure you're curious, but it's not your place to snoop into her life. It sounds like you need a different therapist anyways, you seem to complain about this one a lot and only want what she doesn't want to give you.


   
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 6th 2012, 01:44 AM

I agree with everyone above. I had one who asked to be a friend on fb but yet declined because I don't find it appropriate. it's not the relationship I want with my therapist. If you are that into finding out about her why don't you ask her instead of stalking on fb. If she wants you to know about her personal life she will tell you.


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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 6th 2012, 02:32 AM

Thanks alll. Your right she can just tell me and Im going to ask her some questions about her self. The pics ar just nice to have bec its a pic dont know how to explain that but it gives you a visual of what people look like in her family. Especially her bf soon to be husband I wanted to see what he looked like.

Omg your so lucky she asked you to be friends with you on fb now thats a therapist that truley cares and love there patients I would have sayed yes I wish I had a therapist like that had no luck yet.

I honestly dont know what god and jesus would say but if its for a good reason like I have below then I think he will be okay with it. I think its okay Im just trying to be a nice person like I am and care and love people and I love my therapist and we are friends she may say were not but we are its not pretend. So Im only doing it because I love her.

It is only bad when or if I get into trouble for it because the other person my therapis thinks its bad but its not bad because I did it because I loved her and just wanted her to be closer to me. So it only seems bad because the therapist thinks its bad and Ill show her hey I wasent doing it to be bad it wae because I loved you and wanted to get closer to you now how is that bad when I did it for a good reason its not.

Same thing when I told my therapist if i come to your house dont know if I will really go to her house or not so this is a BIG IF its not wrong im not trying to do soemthing bad Im doing it because I love you and then I told her please dont tell the police on me because Im only doing it because I love and care about you.

Sorry guys please dont argue with me this is how I think and im not changing on what I said above.
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 6th 2012, 02:36 AM

It kinds sounds like you are unhealthily obsessed with her. I'd be surprised if she lets this continue/ keeps seeing you. It's not a healthy relationship.

Also, we aren't really arguing, rather advising and suggesting. Hence the point of a thread/ support website. We aren't trying to hurt you; we are simply trying to help. You know somewhere inside you that you are doing the wrong thing by looking at her facebook, or else you wouldn't have made this thread to begin with.


   
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Re: I HIT THAT JACK POD {; - June 6th 2012, 03:12 AM

Many people do things out of love or with good intentions in mind, Lauri... but they can still hurt the people they care about. All you have to do is look at the "Relationships and Dating" forum to see how people can do awfully stupid things to their loved ones. You see, "love" can be subjective, meaning that what "love" means to you isn't always the same as what "love" means to your therapist, your parents, your friends, etc.

Let's say you were in a relationship with a man, and you loved him with all your heart. Let's say he broke up with you, and he made it clear that he wasn't interested in dating you again in the future - he just wanted to be friends. Now, would it be okay for you to call him over and over again because you "love" him? Would it be okay for you to drop by his house and bang on his front door because you "love" him? Would it be okay for you to call his new girlfriend(s) and tell them to stay away from him because you "love" him?

Argue with me all you want, but the answer is "no," and the reason is simple. Just because you "love" him doesn't mean it's okay for you to force your "love" onto him, because that may not be what he wants. He is entitled to his privacy and freedom, and you are not allowed to take that away from him just because you "love" him. REAL love is when you think about what the OTHER person would want, not what YOU want. REAL love is selfless - and printing out pictures because they make you feel better is selfish. You're not thinking about what your therapist might want you to do (or not do) with those pictures - you're only thinking about what YOU want to do with those pictures.

You call this "love." Several members on TeenHelp have called it "unhealthy," "stalking," "obsessive," and so on. If so many of us don't see your "love" as REAL love, then that must tell you something: your "love" is going to hurt the people in your life, and you need to make the decision to meet people on THEIR terms, not on YOURS. Find out what "love" means to THEM, not to YOU.

Lauri, you have already come close to facing legal problems in the past because of how you "loved" your previous therapist. You are repeating the SAME MISTAKE you made last time. I am honestly concerned that, at this rate, you could end up taking things to an extreme, get arrested, and ruin your chances of ever getting back into school or finding a job. A criminal record is PERMANENT. This is not something to be taken lightly. You said you want to be a therapist. Well, guess what? People with criminal records almost NEVER get to become therapists.

I hope that you will rip up, burn, or otherwise dispose of the pictures you printed out. If you're not willing to do that, then I hope you will at least bring them with you to therapy on Thursday, so you can come clean to your therapist and figure out how to change this destructive pattern of behavior. If you insist on calling your therapist your "friend" (even though she's not and never will be), then you need to be honest with her, because that's what good friends do. They don't keep secrets from each other, no matter what the reason.






Last edited by PSY; June 6th 2012 at 05:19 AM.
   
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