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Question Psychologist appointment. - June 14th 2012, 11:15 AM

So, my mum kindly organised me to see another psychologist after a lot of awkward pleading. I'm seeing a lady in the suburb next to mine as the last one was one that mum was recommended and specialized in autism spectrum disorders and was located a forty minute drive away which really bothered me and also I could never feel comfortable with him. Which was partly due to my mum. I know she means well, but she tries too hard and stuffs things up. Every time my mum has talked to the psychologist/counsellor I've started seeing, she has either ended it herself or they get a wrong impression from her about how thing really are. It has been three times so far.

You see, my mum has a lot to do with what's wrong with me. But I don't trust what she tells the psychologists. She doesn't know everything about what's going on. But I can't tell her that she stuffs things up because she doesn't listen. I've very well learnt that my mum should say out of things as much as possible. Undortunately for me being under 18, mum has to know if I'm in therapy or not and she drives me to my appointments.

My problem is, this new psychologist wants to talk to mum before me. If that happens, all hope is lost. Again. People told me with the last psychologist that he should listen to me just as much if not more than he does to my mum. Well, he did, but just as I thought, mum's view was heard more than mine. Every appointment, she spent 2/3 of the time with him when discussing me. I feel like a young child who is unable to communicate properly. I'm 17. Later I found out from mum that he was taking her everything I said and what he thought. So glad I didn't trust him enough to tell him about self harm.

I asked mum why she has to talk to the psychologist. She said its because she knows what I've been like since birth. But shouldn't Iknow my own issues better than she does? Especially when I avoid her as much as possible?

I guess my question is: is it necessary for parents to speak with the psychologist if you're under 18? Because it just ruins everything. Does anyone else have an experience kind of like this?
   
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Re: Psychologist appointment. - June 14th 2012, 12:23 PM

Parents or friends can provide quite a lot of insight for the person's outward behaviour, not necessarily for the internal behaviour and thoughts. It's not necessary to have a parent or friend's contribution if you don't want them present, however, you're in a tough spot. Since the focus is on you and not your mother, you're allowed to tell the psychologist you want to speak only with her and not have your mother involved any more. This is certainly allowed because your mother will still be told you're in therapy but doesn't need to be told what goes on in each session. A reasonable answer would be you have a hard time opening up to your mother (given you stated that you avoid her as much as possible) and an easier time opening up to the psychologist.

I presume the psychologist is aware you saw previous ones to no avail, so the likely assumption is that you did something that resulted in the failure. Thus, talking to your mother first would, in theory, allow the psychologist to understand the previous failures, as well as gain background information from you, especially if you aren't as willing to divulge information as much as your mother does. I wouldn't tell the psychologist your mother was responsible for the previous failures because there's a good chance it will be interpreted as you deflecting your own blame elsewhere.


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Re: Psychologist appointment. - June 14th 2012, 01:25 PM

I see, thanks for your reply. It's not exactly that I don't want my mum talking to the psychologist, as I understand she can give background info that I can't, but my mum is known to have a rattled up viewpoint of what she thinks is wrong with me which psychologists seem to take into account more than what I've said.
Also, if mum has spoken to them first, I get terrified about what bad things they could have possibly been discussing about me and I just freeze and can't say anything because I know from what my mum has said she would have built up her own impression of me, although she's probably not judgmental, she still has this idea of who I am based in what my mum has said. From how my mum describes me I sound like an a timid little autistic child -_- and then I get too nervous and can't think properly so my version of what's wrong with me doesn't get through very well. I miss my first counsellor - she understood me and my mother never spoke to her.


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