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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Stiena Offline
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Age Dissociation - June 15th 2012, 06:55 PM

I'm 17 and in a few months, I'll be 18. I feel like a 22 year old stuck in the body of a teenager. It's more than being more mature. The fact that I have to go back to high school in a couple months makes me feel.. well I can't say it. I want to do things I feel are closer to my real age. Don't tell me to enjoy my youth; how am I supposed to enjoy something that puts me in a box? I know there are responsibilities that come with being an adult. I know it's hard to make ends meet sometimes and how stressful it is, but truth be told, with what I've been through, I don't care. I want to prove that I can do it. This is more than wanting to grow up fast; I am already there.

I act nothing like my age. Sure, I have rebellious thoughts sometimes, but I don't act on them.. and who hasn't had thoughts about rebelling against their boss? I know the normal thing to do is grow up, have lots of friends, do well in school, join lots of clubs, then go on to the best college possible, get a great job, then marry and have kids... I don't want that. That's the American dream, but it's not my dream. I want to do things my own way, at my own pace.


I am not alone- not beaten down just yet.. I am not afraid of the voices in my head. Down the darkest road, something follows me! I am not alone.. 'Cause misery loves my company!
   
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Re: Age Dissociation - June 16th 2012, 12:10 AM

I know how you feel with not wanting that whole "American Dream". I also don't want anything like that, I am so far from it I'm not even planning on going to college like I once planned. I'm just going to job hop around, meet as many people as I can, experience the good and bad, and go where the wind takes me.
I can tell you are somewhat like me, which is: a free spirit! One of the best things to be, but hard in such a distorted, controlling society. But even as an adult there will still be people trying to put you in a box, being tied down to a job, money, people who want you to conform, etc. Know that you can never be completely free is our world.
If you don't want the American Dream, you don't have to have it, even though our society makes it seem like it's the only path. I'm making my own path, but I know the dangers in doing this. So just be ready for whatever you choose.
Plus, you're 17, you're almost there! Why not just spend the rest of the school year living as much as you can so you'll have it all out of you when you have to grow up.
Just my opinion on your situation, hope this helps! Good luck!


Nothing easy is worth doing, but easy would be nice every once in while.
   
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Re: Age Dissociation - June 16th 2012, 01:18 AM

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Originally Posted by CaughtInMyHead View Post
I'm not even planning on going to college like I once planned.
If you don't want the American Dream, you don't have to have it, even though our society makes it seem like it's the only path. I'm making my own path, but I know the dangers in doing this. So just be ready for whatever you choose.
I've always chosen the path less traveled. I've never even tried to conform and it's never been much of a problem up until now. I, too, am not much interested in college... I'm very bright and I don't need college to prove that or obtain it. I'm also not lazy and reliable if I know what I'm doing.. I don't think I need to waste four years of my life to prove that. I know I'll have to go to a trade school at the very least, and that, I don't mind. I just want enough money to make ends meets without worrying too much. I enjoy the simple things in life, and I want to spend time with my own family in my own bought and purchased house. I'm not a traveler. I just want to be allowed my own artistic visions on things. I hope to marry earlier.. perhaps attend a uni later. Regardless, I'm not doing things the way everyone else does. It makes me suicidal.


I am not alone- not beaten down just yet.. I am not afraid of the voices in my head. Down the darkest road, something follows me! I am not alone.. 'Cause misery loves my company!
   
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Re: Age Dissociation - June 16th 2012, 03:14 AM

There's nothing wrong with having your own ideas and ideals that are different from everybody else's. The reality is, if it's going to work for you and make you happy, then you should go for it! Even though you say you feel bad now, if you did conform and do what everybody else is doing, chances are you'd feel even worse.

So . . . my advice would be, do what's going to work for you, and stuff what everybody else expects. It's your life, they're your decisions, and the reality is, you are free to live your life however you want provided you're not hurting anybody.

If you're ready for work and all that responsibility now, then great! Do what you need to do to achieve that dream. Do things that will make you feel fulfilled. Whatever they may happen to be.

And how everybody else is doing things shouldn't make you feel so bad. Just because they're doing it a different way doesn't make it the right way. What works for one person doesn't work for everybody. Your friends and family should accept the decisions you make and encourage you to do things that are going to make you feel successful in your own right, not things that will lead you to be viewed as successful by others.

My sister, for example - success for her is finding the right guy, settling down, and raising a family. For me, success is having coached gymnasts that win. For some of my friends, success was getting a degree. For others, it's holding down a well-paying job. For still others, success is having just enough money to pay for everything, and the freedom to not be financially tied down.

Point is, everybody defines success differently, and how you define it is what's important to you, and you should do the things that matter to you, not the things that matter to everybody else.
   
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