TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Stiena Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Stiena's Avatar
 
Name: Christian
Gender: Trans
Location: Helhole, TN

Posts: 114
Join Date: April 27th 2012

More Wrath & Aggression - July 28th 2012, 02:05 AM

It grows exponentially. It is only a matter of time before my inner aggression lashes out. I am not a peaceful person. I am not a forgiving person. I am not a patient person. And last but not least, I'm not someone who wants to get better. I'm happily holding my grudges. I don't care if I'm sick, and I don't care if I'm a monster or a judgmental person. I look around me.. what do I see? Scum. All of it. Oh yes, but I must give recognition to the minorities doing the opposite of what I'm doing and being "good people". Good for them; they want an award? I was a good person, and just look at me now. People don't stay innocent. Don't talk to me about dying miserable or being in prison. I fear neither pain nor death. Both of these things bring me to a new height of living.. I bet you wish I would tell my therapist, but that's not something that's going to happen. I'm happy going against everything that's normal... knowing I'm upsetting the balance of the scum's happy ignorance makes me almost gleeful.


I am not alone- not beaten down just yet.. I am not afraid of the voices in my head. Down the darkest road, something follows me! I am not alone.. 'Cause misery loves my company!
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,034
Blog Entries: 35
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: More Wrath & Aggression - August 10th 2012, 05:00 PM

What happened to make you think of people as "scum," Christian? You wouldn't be the first person to become angry and bitter because people they used to love and trust hurt them badly... but you can rise above these negative experiences and find people who are truly worth having in your life. I know that's easier said than done, because I struggled with my anger toward humanity for quite some time. I wasn't able to see things differently and truly enjoy life until I allowed myself to open up again and risk being hurt. You can argue that you have risen to a new height of living, but all I see is an angry person who wants to remove themselves from humanity. That doesn't make you superior to the "scum"... it just separates you from them. Someday, I think you will grow tired of this and want to experience love again, but it may be harder to relate to people with the more time that has passed. Then, you would only be reinforcing the idea that people are "scum," and it will be easier to regress to being angry/bitter than to progress and be loved/fulfilled.





   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
MikeG Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
MikeG's Avatar
 
Age: 25

Posts: 25
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: August 3rd 2012

Re: More Wrath & Aggression - August 10th 2012, 11:36 PM

I read some of your older posts and tried to understand your situation. You have a lot of tense feelings and emotions towards everything basically and you need to release this pressure ASAP. It's corrupting not only your thoughts, but your life aswell.

What's funny is that you're looking for help, but you stopped asking for it in your last posts. Instead of going full out "Help me! I don't know what to do/what I want", you keep dropping subtle hints on what you want to hear from us. And that's perfectly fine! It means that you can more or less pinpoint what you do want to do and by sharing it with us you are looking for an answer and we can give it to you!

You are just lost. And you can't find your path will all those emotions blocking your actual desires. Do this: Exhaust yourself, push yourself to the limit. Go for a run and run like Forrest Gump did. Discharge your anger on every footstep. Absorb what you see, hear, breathe and allow it to occupy the space that was once filled with anger. Why do this? You are given ONE LIFE, ONE CHANCE of making the most of you can do and you allow yourself to feel frustration and hatred when you could be feeling love and warmth? Stop and rationalize. You've been having problems since you're 11. Aren't 7 years of hatred starting to get...boring? Try something new. Try feeling love, establish friendships, make your presence worthwhile in the world.

With all that anger and energy I would start taking sports as a lot more than a hobby. Think about it, you got determination to beat everyone else! THey're all "scum" right? Beat them then. Prove that all they did is mediocre compared to your potential.

I bet you're getting angry just reading what I wrote right? Good, that means you're being touched. Your old beliefs are just pushing these ideas away, but deep down you want to go ahead and try them. Go ahead. We're rooting for you, feel TRUE happiness!
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Stiena Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Stiena's Avatar
 
Name: Christian
Gender: Trans
Location: Helhole, TN

Posts: 114
Join Date: April 27th 2012

Re: More Wrath & Aggression - August 12th 2012, 12:00 AM

Love and warmth come from forgiveness to those who do not deserve it. It's not so much that I hate all of humanity as much as I'm frustrated with their outright stupidity. They hurt others and do not care. They refuse to have their eyes opened. Many people in history including Jesus hated society and how it works. I don't say this to compare myself to them, but to prove that it's not that uncommon.
I wish to walk my own path and rewrite normality for my life. Some say there's no such thing. They're dead wrong; people all have the idea of normality in their heads and when someone walks against the stream, they'll always have people in their way. I truly love only two people; one was my former best friend who left like everyone else (not because of my actions; it was family trouble) and my partner. I don't establish friendships because my social skills are lacking and I have nothing in common with the students of my tiny school of 700 students. They're all mostly jocks and rednecks who I despise for their ignorance. I'm also not a very sporty person, and have no interest in using my art to compete in a rat race.. the only sport I'd be interested in remotely is something where I could beat the ever loving snot out of a phony person.


I am not alone- not beaten down just yet.. I am not afraid of the voices in my head. Down the darkest road, something follows me! I am not alone.. 'Cause misery loves my company!
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,034
Blog Entries: 35
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: More Wrath & Aggression - August 12th 2012, 04:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stiena
Love and warmth come from forgiveness to those who do not deserve it.
I understand that people may have hurt you in the past, but I'm not just talking about those people. I'm talking about the people you haven't met yet. Do those people need to be forgiven when they haven't done anything to hurt you yet? No, and you can't argue someone is ignorant/stupid/a "redneck" when you don't even know them yet. That's where the risk comes into play - you can either hold on to this mentality that everyone is going to disappoint you, or you can slowly test the waters with numerous people and allow yourself to begin trusting in an alternative... a very likely alternative... which is that people can be decent to one another.

By the way, Jesus didn't hate people - in fact, He loved them so much that He was willing to die a painful death for them. What He hated was the bad things people did... and it's perfectly acceptable to hate the bad things people do. What I'm more concerned about is that you would judge and hate people before you even know what they are like. It's easier to be prejudiced and write people off like that, but it's also going to guarantee you stay where you are. Which, again, is your choice... but as I stated earlier, and as Mike stated earlier, I'm betting that you're going to get tired of this mindset eventually. You'll want something more out of life. You have one loving relationship - maybe you'll wake up one day and decide you'd like to have more than that. If that relationship enriches your life, then why not have more relationships like that which will do the same?





   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Stiena Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Stiena's Avatar
 
Name: Christian
Gender: Trans
Location: Helhole, TN

Posts: 114
Join Date: April 27th 2012

Re: More Wrath & Aggression - August 12th 2012, 07:45 PM

Sadly, as I said, there are only 700 students in my school. I come from a backwards, conservative, religious town. I'd say a good 70% attend AG classes primarily. There are few true "artistic" kids at my school. I say this because I've been in art class all three years except for this and all year, people would complain about how they hated it. No, I haven't met everyone, but the fact that I've seen so few daring to be different is a red flag for me.


I am not alone- not beaten down just yet.. I am not afraid of the voices in my head. Down the darkest road, something follows me! I am not alone.. 'Cause misery loves my company!
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
MikeG Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
MikeG's Avatar
 
Age: 25

Posts: 25
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: August 3rd 2012

Re: More Wrath & Aggression - August 13th 2012, 12:58 AM

Interesting, you're just like me in regards to your opinion of society. Yeah, I also hate it, but you know what? I'm not spiteful versus other people, because I know that it's not them that's causing it. It's the system of how social/professional relationships work. It's possible to change the system by giving each person a better system.

Imagine you're in Nazi Germany and everybody around you is just a mindless sheep even though it's not really their fault. They have been convinced by Hitler and his results that the national socialist regime would be best for them. Unfortunately Hitler went for the violent path to expand his philosophy, because he had the belief that the arian race was supreme. How did the Allies "remove" the Nazi sheeps? They didn't. Most of the population only followed Hitler because of fear and convinction that the fascist regime was better than the capitalist (not saying it's the best). When they were presented the downfall of Hitler (the mastermind that was pulling the strings) and the introduction into the democratic lifestyle, they accepted it with glee. They were happy to be enlightened.

Thing is that in this arrangement of society, the problem isn't really just a group of persons. It's everyone that hasn't been enlightened yet and believe me there are many of those left. Purging the dumb is not a viable solution. Did the Allies think of killing every German? Of course not! They gave them a better world.

In my opinion to actually move society in a better direction, we need a 1v1 relationship with no outside influences in which an enlightened person shows how the "sheep" is flawed and how it's much better to simply respect everyone's opinion/mindset/dreams.

That's what I'm trying to show you. I don't agree with your urges to want to hurt people. You need to be more reasonable in that aspect and the only way to actually do this is to talk to people and try to convince them of a reality where items =/= personality, popularity =/= success. It takes a long time to pull off, but I've sucessfully done this with my now friends. I hated them in the beginning, because I couldn't be friends with them. Then I realized that hating them wouldn't do anything, so I took action. I talked to them, befriended and realized that they weren't so bad. And I changed them in the parts that I thought they lacked. I convinced them that "nerds" are just as funny, social, hard-working, inspiring as everybody else and that's makes me feel great.

I do not believe that one person is limited to a certain behaviour. No, a redneck isn't always dumb. No, a black person isn't always a criminal. Stereotypes destroy the community and that's what's hindering you from actually progressing in life. Go to one person you "hate" and try to talk to them. No matter how hard it is. If you're going to spread a message of change, then you must change first.

You'll find out that people aren't what you think they are. One of the greatest things that happend to me was to befriend my "bully". Took me 4 years, but I did it and I found out that he's actually nice! He is a great person! And thanks to me he stopped being a douchebag with everyone! I made him a better person, because I went the extra mile to change his mindset.

Remember violence isn't the answer. Words is. Words counquered nations, created nations and destroyed nations and people still doubt their power? You already took a big step. You seperated yourself from this social system we live in. Now alter it, change people for the best. Show them, and most importantly yourself, that they're just not stereotypes.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
i_like_black Offline
Awesomesauce.
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
i_like_black's Avatar
 
Name: Jess
Age: 31
Gender: Boobs and pubes
Location: Right here.

Posts: 683
Blog Entries: 349
Join Date: February 23rd 2010

Re: More Wrath & Aggression - August 13th 2012, 06:09 AM

You know, going against what others perceive as normal, doesn't generally upset them - they're happy going with the flow, and as long as you don't go out of your way to hurt them, they're not going to have any problems with how you live.

And good on you for being an individual. Believe it or not, individuality is something most people strive for, not just people who are angry at life in general. You seek to express your individuality, that's fine, that's great, the world would be pretty boring if everybody just floated along and let life happen to them.

There are a lot of stupid people. Why don't you enlighten them (or attempt to)?
In the words of Mahatma Ghandi, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
You want people to stop being stupid and ignorant? Good. Now get off your ass and go educate them! Complaining won't solve a damn thing.

And finally, so you're in a small school. Once you finish school, that doesn't matter at all. You go out into the wider world. You meet different people, interesting people, challenging people - regardless of how good are bad your social skills are, once you leave high school, you tend to make more friends, because if you go into tertiary education, the workforce, or the armed forces, you meet like-minded people. You're not the only person who thinks the way you do, and when you find others who you can relate to, chances are you'll feel a bit better about life.

And finally, with regards to how you treat others - even Satanism (not occultism, I know nothing about the occult) says to treat others how you want to be treated. So, unless you want to spend the rest of your life being bitter and hated, treat people a bit better. Respect them for what they CAN do, instead of insulting or disregarding them for what they can't do.

I used to be pretty angry and bitter. What changed? Life got interesting, and being bitter and angry all the time just wasted too much energy that was better used elsewhere. A lot of people spend a number of years hating everything and feeling that they're superior because of their reasons for their hate. The simple fact is, no matter how much better than everyone you think you are, you're still going to bleed if someone cuts you. You're human whether you want to be or not.

Also, I think it's good that you're in a loving relationship. Especially because hating and being angry all the time raises the level of cortisol, the stress hormone, which is detrimental to your health.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
aggression, anger, violence, wrath

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.