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Michael F. Offline
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Question Why am I stuck feeling nothing? - August 4th 2012, 04:36 AM

This started around the time I entered 5th grade. It's like I've stopped being human except for the basic functions.

At home I'm isolated from my 'family'. At school I'm surrounded by 'freinds'. I haven't been able to muster any sort of legitmate feeling towards a person in years. I've always got this figurative mask on, because I've noticed that people are uneasy around other people who don't show any sort of interest or response to various stimuli. This mask is full of the fake personality I've built around my shell. Some family member called me a fake 'little hdrjfkeodbejkd' fill in the colorful language how you will. Am I really fake? Even though I've pretty much forgotten what I was like before my 'heart' withered? Do I even have a personality anymore?

Or am I just a sort of doll? A blank book in front of an illiterate man? A being that exists to coexist and survive.

I'm convinced that the only reason I even consider myself human anymore is because I can still form opinions like these.

If it helps any, My only real hobbie is listening to music. Everything else I don't think counts and I only do have people consider my state average.

I don't want to stay like this. I want to lose this mask and become me again. Any advice or just thoughts in general are welcome.
   
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ciararnhrt12 Offline
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Re: Why am I stuck feeling nothing? - August 4th 2012, 06:47 AM

Hey,
I'm sure theres some event that caused you to become like this, it might be depression or most likely PTSD, I have a neighbor who had it and he was going through exactly what you described. And your not a 'fake' as you put it, your just protecting yourself. I think its reallt hard to act totally fine when you don't feel fine inside, but I think it would help alot to talk about it with your family or someone you consider close, it can even be a random stranger on here like me. Whatever your going through don't give up, you said you wanted to break out of your funk, heres your chance. I know you can do it!
   
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