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Kolya Offline
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Could use idea - August 19th 2012, 01:21 PM

I still see faces of people have gone. everytime i close eyes they are there. cannot keep drinking or id be fired so to speak. but cannot tell doctor eether. if people find out im like this i lose everything, i could use idea or smthing, im no way crazy i just need to make the memories go away
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Muse Offline
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Re: Could use idea - August 19th 2012, 03:27 PM

Hi there.
I'm really sorry to hear that you're having these problems... I can't imagine how frustrating (and scary) it must be. Drinking your troubles away is not an effective way of dealing with any kind of situation, so I'm glad that you're looking for other ways of coping. To be honest, I would recommend talking to your doctor about the faces even though you don't think you can -- if you think it is abnormal, it's never a bad idea to mention it. However, to get to your main question of how to 'forget the memories,' the best way I know is to give it time. How long have the people to whom the faces belong been deceased? The bottom line here is that you'll have to deal with the underlying pain and disconnect you're feeling from the grief before you can address the physical sight of the faces (and my guess is that they'll disappear mutually).

Grief is a super powerful emotion and it's more times than not extremely overwhelming. The best advice I have for dealing with grief is to express yourself in a tangible way... what that means is to get your feelings out of your head and on to paper, into words, into music, through pictures and art, etc. Things are enormously harder to deal with inside our own head because they are still abstract ideas -- making them something you can see/hear/touch makes them more real and less daunting. Also, grief can affect you physically, so it's important to sleep well, eat right, exercise regularly, and not try to numb your pain with substances, as tempting as that is.

As I said, I recommend talking to your doctor about what you're experiencing, but also, try to deal with the losses you feel instead of self-medicating, as it will do more harm to you in the long run.

Best of luck<3

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MikeG Offline
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Re: Could use idea - August 20th 2012, 12:32 AM

The best way to overcome an issue is to distract your brain.

Your brain can only focus on a limited amount of things and if you are constantly thinking about something, you'll begin to notice that something a lot more. By shifting what's currently in your mind (faces/fear/shame --> books/football/friends) then you'll start to notice less and less about these things.

Funny thing is, that it's that easy to do. If you don't want to tell anyone about your problem, then why are you thinking about it? Stop thinking about it, it won't help you any further. I'm not telling you to ignore the problem, I'm just saying that there are better things to think about right now. If some day, you do wish to take care of this problem, then go ahead. Just don't stress it.

Good luck
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