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I figured out that I've lost my aversion to physical pain? Feels as strange as it sounds I think. I'm not intentionally hurting myself now or anything but when i broke my finger a few weeks ago it hurt like hell but i was laughing and it felt good for some reason. Pain just became sensation. I'm not deppressed or suicidal but I cut myself to see if it would hurt as an experiment I geuss and it felt interesting but not bad. It's confusing. I find myself not treating injuries and intentionally making myself "uncomfortable" when im bored. I dont think I'm a massachist but on some level it is concerning and I dont want to be hurting myself for fun. Does anyone else get this? Just curious.
Re: Pain doesn't "hurt"? -
August 20th 2012, 01:27 AM
It hurt like hell, but it felt good? Aren't those feelings kind of different? And I'm sure that cutting also hurt. If it didn't, then either your nerve cells aren't communicating properly or you didn't break too much skin (That's good :P)
What happend when you broke your finger? What were you feeling and what kind of events did your accident trigger i.e: Attention from friends, parents, etc...? You said it hurt like hell, but it's not possible that it felt good. The human body rejects pain, so there must have been some psychological link behind the pleasure of your wound. The same thing goes for your cutting. There must have been a reason why you didn't feel pain and I guess it could be one of the reasons that I mentioned, but it can also be that you feel "superior" by not feeling how most of the people here feel.
From what I've seen people here cut themselves, because of emotional troubles and use it as a distraction from emotional pain. Because you didn't say you were in emotional pain, I conclude that your "pleasure" comes from the idea that you tell yourself: "Wow, this isn't that bad. Wonder why other people suffer so much from it." You might be getting a certain feeling of superiority over others and that's what might be making you feel good. If you did get a lot of attention from your broken finger, then you might have been enticed to believe that if I suffer, then I'll get attention and attention is good.
These are just my thoughts, would like to know more about what lead to your broken fingers and what happend afterwards.
I dunno, I've always wilted a bit under attention. I dont think i feel superior, it's just that it feels, interesting for lack of a better word, like if i was really bored and just needed to feel something, i know when it hurts it doesnt "feel good" i think i just enjoy the feeling itself, the stimuli.It's kinda bracing ya know?
i dont know if im making any sense :/ sorry
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Last edited by PSY; August 24th 2012 at 10:10 PM.
Reason: Merged consecutive posts.
Re: Pain doesn't "hurt"? -
August 20th 2012, 02:37 PM
Some people just have more pain tolerance than others. If you used to self harm (it sounds like you used to; correct me if I'm wrong), then you may have gotten used to feeling pain and because self harm usually leaves a person feeling temporarily better, your mind associates any physical pain with "feeling good". For example, I used to self-harm, and I've stopped for a while, but I still don't mind physical pain. When it was from SH, I thought it felt good. I've also just always had a higher pain tolerance than most people I know long before I'd ever SHed.
And since you mentioned this, "pain" is just a sensation. However, it's supposed to be a negative sensation to let you know that your body is injured or whatever you're doing, you need to stop before you get injured from it.
So I would suggest trying to figure out if this could be because you're used to physical pain and you're getting the same feeling as when you self-harmed, or if it could be a higher pain tolerance (try to think back to before you SHed). As askingalexandria mentioned, there is also a possibility that it could be an issue with the nerve cells or something related, although that usually means you don't feel any pain-it doesn't feel bad or good or anything. Hope this helps.
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They don't see the angel living in your heart.
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That you are not... your skin." ~Sixx: A.M.
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Re: Pain doesn't "hurt"? -
August 22nd 2012, 10:18 AM
It's perfectly natural for you to like the feeling of the painful stimulation. When the body is injured and you experience pain, it releases sets of endorphins, enkalphins, etc... . These are naturally made versions of pain killers, which people find pleasurable. It seems you were overwhelmed with this feeling and enjoyed it to the point where you want to re-experience it.
I doubt it's an issue with your nervous system. To give you an example from my life, when I was I think 6 years old, maybe a bit younger. My mother was inside tidying up and my father was outside packing stuff up for a short road trip. I hopped in the passenger seat since the door was open and began playing with the car cigarette lighter because I didn't know what it was. I ended up burning my hands but especially my thumb to the point where the skin was stiff, hard and had the pattern of the lighter burned into it. According to my dad, I walked over to him with my burnt hands to ask him what the lighter was for and that my thumb looked unusual as well as began to hurt only a bit.
Ever since I was born and can remember, I have a very high tolerance or somewhat insensitivity to pain. For example, I don't find pressure points to be painful when squeezed regardless of where they are and my elbows need to be hit much harder than the average for there to be a noticeable reflex. I've lost count of the amount of times I did something, got hurt and usually ended up with a marking, scar or trip to the doctor's office or hospital as a result.
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