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Kiwi30 Offline
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Please help? - August 30th 2012, 09:49 PM

Hi I hope I have posted in the right forum.

I am an athlete who also suffers from anorexia and depression. I have been doing ok recently until yesterday. I was meant to go on a training camp this weekend in preparation for the world champs but I lied to my parents and told them I didn't have a chemistry exam, I know this was wrong and I shouldn't have done it. Anyway they found out and got really angry and my teachers spoke to them saying I was run down and I needed to rest more. I have had a bad cold all this weeks and burst in too tears the other day at school. My parents then decided that I wasn't allowed to go on the camp and they talked to my coach and got angry at him saying he shouldn't have organized a camp around exam time. Now all my friends are off on this training camp for the weekend I feel humiliated and embarrassed by what has happened. I cant go back to training now because i feel too ashamed and I have stuffed up at school. Training was my life and now I have lost it. Last night I became so hysterical that I started carving FAT into my arm, I also tried to overdose on my antidepressants but my parents stopped me after I had only taken four. I cried myself to sleep and I am now refusing to get out of bed or eat anything because I feel like whats the point and because I can't train I feel like I will get fat now so I refuser to eat anything. Everyone will be doing all this training over the weekend and I won't and I will have such a huge set back for world champs. I don't know what to do.
   
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Re: Please help? - August 31st 2012, 01:59 AM

Hey there, welcome to TeenHelp. It sounds like you've got a lot going on right now, and I'm really sorry it's been so difficult. I'm not an athlete at all, so I don't know much about training, but is there some sort of training you could do at home while they're all away? That way you wouldn't just spend the whole time in bed. You'd be doing something constructive and also exercise gives you endorphins, which might help raise your mood a little. Also, maybe this is a sign that you need to back off the training a little bit. It seems like it's your entire life right now, and not in a good way. Because if something like this happens, you're just totally devastated. Maybe if you took a step back, it'd be better in the long run because you're not going to perform well anyway if you're so consumed by all those bad feelings you were talking about.
I really think you should talk to a professional if you haven't already. This is a lot for you to handle on your own. Talking to a psychologists was one of the main things that helped me deal with my depression, anxiety, and self injury. It seems like your parents are pretty aware of what you're dealing with, maybe you could suggest to them that you should go see someone. Even if it's not a professional, just someone to sit down and talk to can be a huge help.
Sorry I don't have that much advice for you. I just want you to know that you're not alone, and that things can get better. If you ever need to chat, feel free to PM me.
Hang in there,
Hannah


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