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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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Goodbye_Lullaby Offline
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Question Quick Question? - September 28th 2012, 08:56 PM

Well I know this may sound stupid... But when someone close to you is suffering from a mental illness, can you develop one? My mum has depression and a personality disorder. And my best friend, (who I consider as close to a sister a friend can ve) also had depression and has just been told she may have bi-polar. And since I found out about my mum (just over a year ago) I dunno I haven't been the same. People who barely know me don't notice cause I'm the 'normal me' in public and anyways no one really notices me I'm a loner at heart. But when I'm alone I can't understand myself. It's just sometimes I'm fine than I'm crying and screaming into a mirror at myself (I don't make no noise cause mt house is to small for you not to be unheard. I could be really happy going into bed and than crying at stupid little things I can remember. I sometimes feel so pleased with myself when I achieve something than Im listing my faults. I my mum I think she notices when I'm upset and is getting worried. After some friend problems, my head of year (aware of my mum problems and her physical health problems) refered me to a counciler who I saw for the first time on Wednesday. And on the referel form said he saw me as someone who gets easily worried and can be anxious. He has only known me for a few weeks and from what my mum told me he could make a decision about it. My form tutor who again I have only known for a couple of weeks. She knows I have a few friend issues I'm not sure what my head of year has said, but she is always every time she sees me asking if I'm ok and everything and she seems worried about putting me down. It's nice that people care but I don't want them to think they have anything to worry about. I want them to think I'm fine, but I'm starting to be unable to hide that. And yeah sorry I went on but I just want you guys opinions.


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Re: Quick Question? - September 28th 2012, 09:05 PM

Hi there

So, I don't have an answer as such to your questions but a few things popped into my mind while reading your thread.

My mum has severely struggled with her mental health which has resulted in her being hospitalised. This started when I was 3. Now, seeing someone go through a mental health problem can be hard, especially when its a parent. I don't know how ill your mum has been, but if you've seen her in her dark and bad times, its going to have some affect on you to a certain level. Its hard to see a loved one go through so much pain, you know? That doesn't mean you have a mental illness. We all go through hard times and can feel 'depressed' about it but like I said, it doesn't mean you have a mental illness. It might be you've had to go through a lot and its been traumatic for you.

Secondly, there's a lot of talk about learnt behaviour. I'm not saying, that you copy your mum with anything you do. We don't often realise the behaviour is learnt ourselves. I watched my mum self harming once, and then after that I knew she still self harmed. I've had professionals tell me that it is possible my self harming, is learnt from my mum. Now thats just an example but something to bare in mind.

Thirdly, mental illnesses can be genetic. Meaning if your mum struggles with a mental illness, this could genetically be passed on to you. Again, this mighty not be the cause, but I'm throwing it out there anyway. Something to think about.

Lastly, you may have a mental illness but still, it could have nothing to do with your mum. On the other hand, you may not have a mental illness at all.

I know this probably wasn't helpful. Its all just something to think about, you know? Talk to the people who are offering you support and let them help you go through what you are going through. You don't have to be alone. And if you ever want to talk about anything that's happened, know you're more than welcome to talk to us


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