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How can I cheer up my bipolar friend who recently tried to kill herself? - September 30th 2012, 01:14 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My ex-best friend (I say ex because we were best friends in elementary school but then got in a huge fight in middle school) recently tried killing herself and was hospitalized. Although we have not been close for a few years, I texted her today when she was released from the hospital basically saying I am here for her if she needs to talk and I just said some comforting stuff. The most recent text I sent her I said that I want to take her somewhere, but I did not really think before I sent that text because now I need to find a place to take her. I have bipolar type one, so I know what it is like, but I handle my depressive episodes differently than what I would think other bipolar teens would. When I go into a depressive episode or when someone makes me angry I go for a drive in the mountains where it is secluded and there is beautiful scenery. It just reminds me of how beautiful the world can be. And I know this really beautiful mountain drive for fall. However, I am not sure about taking her to the mountains because as I remember she is more social than I am, so she may want to go to a social environment. Then again she tried to commit suicide because of bullies, so maybe she would like getting away from people. As a bipolar person myself I know nothing I say or do will ultimately make her feel better, but I want to at least cheer her up and support her.
So, does the mountains sound good? What are some other ideas?
Thanks in advance
And sorry if this is the wrong category; I am new here so I didn't know where to post this.
   
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Re: How can I cheer up my bipolar friend who recently tried to kill herself? - September 30th 2012, 06:50 AM

Hey-

Welcome to TeenHelp first of all! I hope you find the support, advice, and anything else you are looking for here.

In all reality, you really can't just "cheer her up". At least for me, when people ask how to cheer me up, there is no answer. Usually the things they try, do not seem to really make a difference. Instead, just be her friend. Ask what she would like to do. Let her talk, make sure she feels comfortable. If she attempted suicide due to bullies, she really may just need a friend who supports her and is kind-hearted right now. Even someone to just have random pointless conversations with could help her mood.

If you need to choose where to go, perhaps try a coffee shop or something? Some sort of place that there are people around if she is more social, but there is some sort of intimacy and privacy in case that is what she needs too. I always feel like coffee or any type of food is always a safe bet for any type of meeting. Though sometimes I know money can be an issue.

I'm sure the mountains would be just fine as well. I love the mountains, and feel very happy to be so near to them. I don't know many people who do not enjoy at least driving through them. Some people dislike the nature due to bugs and dirt and all that, but you are safe from them in the car.

But overall, like I said, I'm sure no matter where you take her will be fine, as she probably just needs someone who doesn't have anything mean to say. That is awesome that you still care so much after all this time to reach out to her when she needs it. I hope everything goes well!

Maria <3



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Re: How can I cheer up my bipolar friend who recently tried to kill herself? - October 1st 2012, 12:26 AM

Whether or not she enjoys going for a drive in the mountains is irrelevant. What matters is that you're reaching out to her and making an effort to do something considerate for her. That is what will resonate with her, and frankly, I don't think she'll care if it's a social environment or not. It's the thought that counts. =)






   
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Re: How can I cheer up my bipolar friend who recently tried to kill herself? - October 1st 2012, 08:43 AM

I think it's great that you want to be there for your friend. Good for you.

Maybe just ask her sometime what it is that she would like to do? And perhaps approach it as a friend, not just as a "helper". Being a friend in itself can be helpful. It would seem to me, although I can't speak for her, that since she's just had this traumatic event take place in her life, she may not want the basis of you reaching out to her to seem like it is because she has bipolar disorder. Just be like, "Hey, you know, we should do something one day. Any ideas?" or something to that effect. It sounds like you're a great friend to have.
   
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