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Thylia Offline
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Exclamation I really don't know - October 18th 2012, 09:57 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I just want some advice. When I was 13 I went to see my school councilor because things were starting to go wrong. She asked me a lot about self harming and all the basic questions and at the time I wasn't. I used to be apathetic because I lost one of my friends to suicide and three to murder when I was eight, but when I was 13 I started to feel emotions again. I hate reacting to things without pure rationality. That was the reason I saw the councilor in the first place, I lied to her because I always do when anyone asks me about my life.

Normally I love secrets and will never say anything so of course I freaked out and lied to her because I couldn't stand the thought of her telling my parents anything. I hear and see things no one else ever does, I hurt people using words as my weapon and I enjoy it, I won't eat for days then binge like a pig and hate myself and my body for it, some days I will feel an extreme high when I haven't had any sugar then sometimes I will feel nothing, like I used to. I cut myself because I love the look of blood and scars, I lie all the time to everyone about everything and I don't know how to stop. I have this extreme fear of people hence the lying, I always think everyone will find some kind of weakness and hurt me, using it to their advantage, that's what my 'imaginary' people say to me anyway.

Is this normal? What should I do?
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Re: I really don't know - October 27th 2012, 08:45 PM

No, I wouldn't say any of this is "normal" - or perhaps a better thing to say is that it's not "healthy." "Healthy" behavior doesn't consist of hurting other people, alternating between starving and stuffing yourself, hurting yourself, etc. If you'd like to know what you should do, I think you should see a psychological professional - and be honest with them about what's going on and what you're feeling toward other people. They can only help you with the things you're willing to disclose. Personally, I don't think a school guidance counselor will be able to handle all these issues simultaneously, so I would ask for a referral to a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist.

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