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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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Emotionless. - October 21st 2012, 08:16 PM

So, yesterday I was arguing with my boyfriend - he was being sulky because I didn't give him a cuddle (and apparently ignored him twice) when he asked because I was doing something - and I sat there and thought 'I'm going to ignore him for a few minutes, just to let us calm down. But he kept talking. And then I tried to go out of the house so that I could get more distance between us and I could calm down. But he stopped me and I sat there and stared at the wall. And all of the sudden... I felt nothing.

As in NOTHING!!! He sat there and cried and begged me not to walk away from him and I just sat there and felt nothing. No sympathy or empathy or sadness or guilt. Nothing.

He finally let me out - I only went out for 10 minutes because we had to go somewhere - and when I came back, I felt a bit better, but not completely. Throughout the evening, I began to feel like my normal self again, but it took some time and I think I only felt better because we went out with my boyfriend's family because it was his brother's birthday.

But I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. I sat there and repeated that I want to go out and a few other things, and I felt nothing. Even when I OD'd a year and a half ago, I still felt something - sadness - but yesterday, for about an hour, I felt nothing.

And it was scary.

I don't know what to do. I don't really want to feel like that again and it seems like I can slip back into it at any point and I don't want to, so I'm fighting against it - for now. But I'm sure something will upset me or anger me and I'll feel like that - which normally happens when I try to keep a feeling away.

What do I do about this? And has anyone ever felt like this before? Feeling absolutely nothing?

Thanks...
RosieJ


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22/12/2014 was the last date I self-harmed. The longest I have gone so far is 1 year, 2 months and 5 days. This time, I hope I can give up! New record: 1 year 6 months! Yay!!
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Re: Emotionless. - October 21st 2012, 09:01 PM

Hey there Rosie.

Firstly, I'm sorry about you and your partner arguing. I too sometimes feel nothing but I normally feel this way after an argument or when I have had a really bad day. Sometimes everything gets too much that I get to a point where I just don't care any more, you know? I wouldn't say the way you were feeling is abnormal as such. Sometimes we all go through these phases in every day life. For some people it can mean more and can be a symptom of a mental health illness. If it continues to happen then it might be something to look into but for now I wouldn't worry too much. Maybe in those moments where you feel nothing you can try and do something to cheer yourself up?

I hope this helps.
Jessie


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Re: Emotionless. - October 22nd 2012, 08:22 AM

I don't think this is terribly uncommon. When I am feeling overwhelmed (which, thankfully, rarely happens), I tend to do one of two things: "snap," or become apathetic/emotionless. They are both coping techniques, and neither of them are pleasant, but the latter allows me to be more productive when I have to "suck it up," despite how overwhelming things are. Perhaps, instead of being scared of the emotionless period, you can see it as a way of coping. Once you recognize this is in response to something outside of yourself (and not a sign that you're "crazy" or a "psychopath"), you can start to explore your "triggers" and find better ways to cope when you're feeling overwhelmed.






   
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