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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
entangledmind Offline
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The only memories I have of my childhood are bad ones - November 5th 2012, 03:05 AM

the only memories I have of my childhood between the age of 4-aproximately 12 are only bad and hurtful memories. I don't know but for some reason I can't remember anything pleasant.
  • I remember being scared one night when I was at least six. I started crying and asking my sister to turn on the light for me. She wouldn't so I started crying really loud. My mom came into the room and asked my sister why she hadn't turned on the light and though I don't remember exactly what my sis said it upset my mom so she began dragging my sister out of bed to spank her. My sister starting screaming I started crying harder. My mom pointed at me and told me to "Shut up!". It ended that night with my mom apologizes. (But it all still happened)
  • My mom and dad getting in fights. Throwing things. Yelling.
  • Being ignored by my dad. He's never been apart of my life until I was about 13 or 14
  • When I was seven my two brothers and sister moved out.
I mean that's the strongest memories I have of being younger. It effects me so much. I think of stuff like this almost everyday. And I can feel the emotions of how I felt then. It's killing me.

My parents don't know why I have so many problems with them but they just don't understand that my memories are only of them hurting me and my sibs...


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tired. But in reality

i'm just sad.

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Re: The only memories I have of my childhood are bad ones - November 6th 2012, 05:07 AM

The majority of memories are good, which means they are difficult to parse separately. On the other hand, horrible memories and fantastic memories (to an extent) stick out like a sore thumb, making them more salient. This is all relative though because if the majority of your memories were bad, then good and fantastic memories would be easier to remember. Keep in mind though, being able to recall a memory or set of memories doesn't immediately mean you will feel good or bad. For example, if you had mostly bad memories, then good memories could make you feel happier, however, if you realize they are far and few between, then you would end up feeling down. There are many other variables to consider, as this is a massive simplification.


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Re: The only memories I have of my childhood are bad ones - November 6th 2012, 11:27 AM

Hi,

We can't change what happened to us when we were children. It's possible that you also had good moments, but your mind is stuck on the bad ones. I'd tell you to try to remember other things as well, it doesn't need to be ultra positive and extraordinary, just a normal day, an afternoon at the park, a specific moment at school, playing with a colleague, whatever.

Anyway, caring too much about the past doesn't lead you anywhere, so try to focus on the present, on what you have right now, your studies, your friends, your hobbies, try to do things you like, sports, reading, going out, whatever. And also think of how you see youself in.. let's say, 7-10 years time, and hold on to that, because you can't control the past, but you can be in charge of the present time and ccan take little steps towards a better future...

Regards
   
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Re: The only memories I have of my childhood are bad ones - November 6th 2012, 02:50 PM

The problem is you are choosing to let yourself think about these things. Sure they may pop into your head on accident, but you allow yourself to dwell on them. When they come into your head literally tell yourself “I am not going to think about that, it does nothing but make me sad” or something to that effect. You might have to say it 20 times a day. But eventually it will become easier and easier to stop dwelling on the past.

And just like the others have said, move on. It’s not easy, but these memories only hurt you and that is not healthy. Over time it will become easier and less painful.




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