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AmiFey Offline
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Exclamation Is something wrong with me? - November 5th 2012, 04:18 PM

I see things others can't. People, animals, shadows that are alive, the stretching of hallways, trails left by movement that look like ghost trails or long exposure on a camera, demons.. Sometimes it's like I have another sense, but other times it's like I'm stuck in a hell that I can't escape. My psychiatrist wants me to tell my mum, but I'm too afraid that the voices and the monsters will get mad at me. They could hurt me or make me hurt someone else. What do I do?
   
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Re: Is something wrong with me? - November 6th 2012, 01:02 AM

I get the same things. They run in my family. I don't know what causes it but I can totally understand seeing/feeling/hearing these things and why you don't want to tell your parents. My mom doesn't know that I can sense these things. I cannot tell you what causes it though. I think it would be interesting to find out what causes it.


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Re: Is something wrong with me? - November 6th 2012, 03:26 AM

What diagnosis (if any) has your psychiatrist provided, and what kind of treatment are you receiving for all of this (ex. medication/therapy)? These things you are seeing and hearing are hallucinations - they are not real, and they cannot hurt you. All they can do is plant ideas/suggestions in your mind, which you may eventually act on. Having social support is very important in situations like these - I'm fairly certain that's why your psychiatrist wants you to tell your mom about what's going on. Perhaps it would be easier if your psychiatrist invited your mom to a session, so that she could receive psychoeducation about what you're experiencing and become a better source of support.






   
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Re: Is something wrong with me? - November 6th 2012, 11:33 PM

Right now I have depression, anxiety, pre-borderline personality disorder (not old enough to diagnose, but she's noted the symptoms), and EDNOS, but none of them would cause this as far as I know. I'm on 60 mg of Cymbalta along with 2.5 mg of zyprexa, recently ended DBT, and am in some new therapy now (not totally sure it's a specific kind at the moment, things are a bit wobbly right now).
And they are real. They've hurt me before: scratching, hitting, making me sick.. They do it when I don't do what they say or when they do something I don't like. Like how F tries to get me to hurt or even kill my family and when I don't do it he gets the children to punch and bite me and gets the demons to follow me and he makes me sick sometimes too. I only ever listen to them about things that harm me, except when they put ideas about seriously injuring myself in my head. I usually argue with them about it for a bit and negotiate to something smaller.
But to be honest, part of the time I'm afraid to talk to even my psychiatrist because I'm afraid she'll give me pills to brainwash me or poison me. I'm literally shaking as I type this because I know that I'm not supposed to let out information about their world and I just don't feel safe from them. They could punish me or the government could come try to shut me up or lock me away or have my psychiatrist brainwash me. I'm only posting because I know they already realised that I know and so it won't make a difference. Either way I'm in danger.
   
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Re: Is something wrong with me? - November 7th 2012, 03:15 AM

You may have paranoia cross schizophrenia, depending on your age you should ask if you could at least have a psche analysis to see if there is other underlying conditions.

Jay.


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Re: Is something wrong with me? - November 7th 2012, 03:24 PM

You should talk to your doctors. I have schizophrenia, and that's how it started when I was little.

But I know borderline can lead to psychosis as well.
We can't diagnose you, so please, talk to your doctor.

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Re: Is something wrong with me? - November 7th 2012, 03:32 PM

I am going to ask the same questions that Psy did about the specifics of the diagnosis. Visual hallucinations caused by a disorder are very rare and tend to be more on the extreme side, if you are a minor, I can’t imagine that the therapist wouldn’t have already discussed this with your mother.

But if you are an adult, it is up to you on what you do and do not tell people. It would probably be best to talk to her about it, but you don’t have to.




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