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Stuck.in.time Offline
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Any advice for handling your anger? - December 22nd 2012, 12:47 AM

Hi.

So I guess the title pretty much says it all, and I know there are websites that have helpful advice, but I really wanted to know some of the ways that people have tried and really worked.

More often I'm irritated (and quite easily), but I calm myself down quite quickly. When I do get really angry, it's short, violent and explosive. I get so worked up that I'm just so restless and can't contain it. (I'm sorry if they sound like excuses). And I really hate that about myself- it's extremely damaging and I can see that it's affecting the people around me.

Thanks in advance!

P.s I was unsure as to where to put this thread, so please move it to an appropriate forum if necessary


I know it's time to move on and let go... but I can't. I'm just... Stuck.in.time

   
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Re: Any advice for handling your anger? - December 22nd 2012, 01:12 PM

Hey there,

I am glad you have taken the time to write about this and I hope that I can help you in some way.

I think that anger is one of those things that occurs due to suppressed emotions. I know that the main reason I get angry is because I hold everything inside and then I, eventually, explode. Is this the same thing that happens to you? Do you find yourself holding everything in and then one day you find that you can't hold it in so you explode, possibly over nothing, and then after you explode you are fine? If so the best solution is to start expressing your emotions. When you are feeling upset about something don't hold it in; talk to the person about what they did that upset you, talk to someone about the situation that upset you or talk about the emotions that are rolling around inside of you that are upsetting you. I realize that talking about your feelings is not always the easiest thing to do but in the end it can do a lot of good. I would also suggest that you start keeping a journal because it can help you to express you emotions and slowly start letting go of some of the things that might be bothering you.

Now, one thing that I do when I feel as if I am going to explode is get up, walk away from the situation and count to ten, fifteen or even twenty. This removes me from the situation, gives me time to think and the counting allows me some time to calm down. This might be something that helps you. Here is a link you can check out that discusses a few things you can do to manage your anger in a positive way.

Lastly, I would like to suggest that you consider counseling. I know that might not be something you want to do but it could be extremely beneficial in helping you identify the triggers that are making you have these angry outbursts and it could help you find healthy coping skills for these triggers. Counseling can be such an amazing tool for overcoming a lot of different things.

I hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to PM/VM me.


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Re: Any advice for handling your anger? - December 22nd 2012, 01:17 PM

Hey there,

When I get angry, which is pretty often, I take it out on a door if these things don't work:

LIstening to music, my favourite, whetehr they be angry, depressing, it just helps if I sing it out, or dance like an idiot if that's your thing
Screaming into a pillow.
Go for a run.
See if you can convert that anger into something constructive, such as writing a poem or a chapter in a book that you wanted to be angry.

Jay.


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My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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Re: Any advice for handling your anger? - December 24th 2012, 03:13 PM

Hey Ani

For starters, you need to identify your triggers. What kinds of things make you angry? Once you can recognize them, you can try to work out how to handle these situations. For this you can keep a journal in which you can things in something like this format-
Date:
Situation: Explain the incident.
How I felt: Emotions, feelings etc.
How I reacted: What you said, physical changes in your body (Adrenaline, wanting to hit people, break things etc)

You can take this journal to a counselor, they can help you to deal with these situations better. You are also welcome to talk to us about them.

Try to ask yourself things like-

How could I have handled this situation differently? Could I have said/done things differently?
Was I being rational?
Could this have been avoided?

When you are angry, it is very important to let out your anger in a healthy manner. You can do something like-
Go for a run
Tear up newspapers/magazines
Scribble on a paper/magazine
Dance (The idea is to use up the energy)
Draw a picture of what is making you angry
Beat up a stuffed bear

These are just a few ideas that you can use.

I hope that this helps.
Feel free to get in touch if you'd like to talk about anything.
Take care



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Re: Any advice for handling your anger? - December 26th 2012, 09:23 PM

Always know your breath...
When you are angry, when you breathe in you think to yourself 'i am being angry'
Then when you breathe out you think the same.
Just know it..anger does not disappear but you can control yourself better, at least that works for me.


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Re: Any advice for handling your anger? - December 31st 2012, 06:47 AM

Thank you all for your advice! They've been extremely helpful.

Most of it seem to be home-based or something that would have been done in private. I was also wondering, how would you handle it if it was in public?


I know it's time to move on and let go... but I can't. I'm just... Stuck.in.time

   
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Re: Any advice for handling your anger? - December 31st 2012, 06:50 AM

Count to ten in your head, breathe deeply and then exhale, imagine yourself pushing off the anger on that exhale and see if that calms you down.

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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