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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Tora020 Offline
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Age: 24

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Join Date: January 3rd 2013

Hello - January 3rd 2013, 11:12 PM

I want to start off by saying that I am sorry if this is the wrong section because I am not entirely sure as to where it goes.

Well lately I've been under a lot of stress...

My life has been great until I was 7, my family used to get together all the time. My father's side used to love me and I loved them especially my grandfather. My father and mother would play games with me and spend time like a happy family. I had a lot of pets although we didn't have such a stable financial state and I was happy. Well after the age of 7 that has stopped and my parents would argue every day. I still thought of how lucky I was to have an "united" family. Well that didn't last long. At the age of 12 me and my mom got our visa and came to the U.S. My parents have signed the official divorce papers.

I came here to come face to face with the cold reality. I have learned that they divorced when I was 7, but still lived together. My grand mother, grand father and uncle are here. I have never spent much time with them so I didn't really know them...well as any 12 year old I had such big dreams. I was living with my grandfather and wanted a pet because I was forced to leave all of mine behind. Well my drunk grandfather told me "You are NEVER going to have a pet in this house and you should not become a Veterinarian, you won't make a lot of money." Well that was the first truly painful thing I've experienced(I love animals they mean so much to me). They continued as my grandfather would get drunk everyday. I missed my family so much and I felt as if I didn't have anyone to hug. I didn't tell my mom, she was too happy.

Well time passed I've moved with my grandmother she is somewhat ok, she got me a guinea pig. Well everything was ok until my mom met this man. I don't think I was selfish I mean after she met the man she would only talk about him and then talk with him at the phone. If I had to say something she didn't want to listen. I grew to hate that man because I felt like he stole the only person that truly loves me away from me. I was told to not tell my father anything that bothers me and so I stopped talking to him too. After a while my grandmother wanted to leave because even she started to agree with me that my mom was becoming obsessed with this man. She left, went to my uncle and they basically kicked her out. She came back and tells me I am that her future is in my hands.

It's been almost 4 years since I have been here. I told my mom I would never kick her out of my house and I would take care of my grandmother too. I have never talked to anyone about my feeling and now I get sad or angry from the smallest things. I have been acting happy, everyone thinks I am happy, but I am not...I am as far from happy as I can be. I can't sleep and I keep waking up in the middle of the night. I have two persons to take care of when I get a job(I am not out of high school yet). I have grades in the 90s because I need to have a good job...well now my mom is pregnant and the man she is with won't be able to support the child...he has so many kids and...well he is married. I don't know what to do, I mean I want to take care of my mom and my grandmother, but I want to be happy too. So far I have not been happy since I came here...I haven't seen my father or any other family members from my country in the entire time I've been here. Both my grandparents from my country are really sick and about to die. I am afraid to call them, the last ti me I did they started crying and it just makes me want to go there and be by their side and help them and I can't...When I was 4 I told my grandfather from my country I would be a vet and he would live at my farm and I can't do that.

Now that the new baby is coming my grandmother wanted me to give away my guinea pigs and I can't, I can't do it again...I love my little animals.

I don't know what to do anymore I just feel so much sadness and I tried telling them about it, but they don't seem to understand where I am going with it...I want to be happy, but I don't think I can...I just have this happy face on all they so that they don't think there is something wrong

I am so sorry for writing so much, but I wanted to tell someone how I felt because I just can't stop crying and I don't know what is wrong with me or what to do. Thank you so much for reading this!
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
craz33me Offline
I've been here a while
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Name: Ciara(:
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Re: Hello - January 4th 2013, 05:41 AM

I see that you're new. It's okay that your post was so long! I'm sorry about your situation. If you need anyone to talk to you can message me. I'm all ears or rather eyes. Whatever. lol

A beautiful thing is never perfect.

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
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Name: Robin
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

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Re: Hello - January 5th 2013, 09:54 AM

Hello, and welcome to TeenHelp!

I'm not sure where you live in the United States, but there should be something called "Child Protective Services," "Department of Child and Family Services," or a similarly named agency. As a minor (person under the age of 18 years old), you can call these sorts of agencies and get connected with services that may benefit you AND your family members. There are probably non-profit organizations in your area as well, that can provide some psychological and/or financial support. The bottom-line is that you shouldn't have to feel this much pressure while you are still a child. I understand that you feel obligated to support your family members, and I commend you for wanting to do that... but you certainly don't have to do it alone! Ask for help, and if one place turns you away, try another place, and another, and another, until someone offers to support you in some way.

Crying and feeling sad is completely understandable, when you are dealing with so much stress... so reach out to adults who are in a position to help you and your family. Reduce the stress, and I think you'll discover that a lot of the negativity you're experiencing will be reduced as well. =)

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