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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Emotional Self harming? - January 4th 2013, 11:28 AM

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ello people , i just want to acclarify something .
It seems ived been porpusefully putting myself in emotional situations to feel better from other pain, and i have been acting like a a'hole and crap to people i love and care about just to hurt myself because im extremely caring of others .
I stop being me and then i hurt myself emotionally for some reason.
It has become something addictive and i constantly do it.
I annoy and insult others to feel better about my pain but i hate bullying.
Even in chat ived become really annoying to people.
Im simply tired of this. I keep hurting myself emotionally.

Whats wrong with me ?

Can annyone help?

And if i have somehow hurted , annoyed or bothered anyone in this site im sorry .

Can anyone understand my behaviour ?
   
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Re: Emotional Self harming? - January 4th 2013, 01:33 PM

I get you Cris I do. You just need to Calm down and think of others and care and just be happy with yourself and like it.
   
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Re: Emotional Self harming? - January 5th 2013, 08:56 AM

Hey Cris,

I don't know if this helps, but I used to do (and still sometimes do) something similar. I would deliberately do something wrong, and then punish myself for doing it, and I would only do it to get the satisfaction of punishing myself.

What you're doing is the same, well, kind of. The root of the problem for me was my low self-esteem. I had a low opinion of myself, so it seemed to make me happy to punish myself for being wrong. So I'd say it's very likely that you're doing this on-purpose to hurt yourself.

Sorry I couldn't have been more of a help.

Gareth
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Re: Emotional Self harming? - January 8th 2013, 05:37 AM

I think it's worth exploring why you feel the need to hurt yourself, because once you address that, you may no longer feel the urge to act this way. The previous poster said that you might be doing this because you have low self-esteem. Well, that's an idea you can explore. If you don't feel you're worthy of being loved, then you may purposefully hurt the people that are willing to love you, or show that they care. If you challenge the belief that you're not worthy of being loved, though, and find evidence to counter the belief, then the urge to push people away should begin to diminish.






   
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Re: Emotional Self harming? - January 19th 2013, 04:33 AM

Hey Cris. First of all, I can honestly say that I can relate to this. Sometimes one might need an emotional boost, just to feel something at all, even if it hurts to be that low. Some might call it attention seeking, some asking for guidance out of that dark spot, and some just being pessimistic. I honestly won't put a label on it, its up to you to decide why you do this.
For me, its to feel something. I will put myself in positions that will give me that drama, just so I have an excuse to cry the tears I bottle up or self harm in secret. But really, that's not healthy.
Neither is hurting your feelings. Or others feelings. Here on TH, we're all sort of like an understanding group of family, just in some standards we are different and the same. So in chat, be sure to be nice to everyone, and if you do have to have some emotion, open a window with someone or PM or VM someone, including me, I'm always here to talk to you.
Nothing's wrong with you Cris. Its just feeling.
   
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Re: Emotional Self harming? - January 19th 2013, 05:02 PM

Hiya Cris.

Well lemme just say right off the bat that when I read this post, I thought my secret long lost twin had wrote it. Seriously, it sounds almost exactly like what I do!!

So when I'm depressed about something or missing someone, I just think of some kinda story, put people I love and miss into it, think about it all day and emotionally it hurts me even more. Don't ask why I do it it just...happens I guess. Its stupid, i know, but listen.

I used to be a complete jerk to everyone, still am. I have that natural mean spirit that I can, thankfully, control. And when I decide to let it out...BAM. the next thing I know I'm staring into someone's sad, hurt face. Whether I hate them or not, I feel bad. Even if its the weird kid no one likes...especially if its him. Because I feel like I'm just crapping up their life even more...what if they cut or suicide because of my taunting??

But there is a way to stop. Just relax, take a warm bath, put on some music, read a book or something and just think....what triggers you that makes you hurt them by saying mean things? Find whatever that is and avoid it best u can. When it comes, Do your best to fight it off.

I'm dealing with emotional struggles too so if you ever want to talk, I'm here.


i don't know what i'm supposed to do
haunted by the ghost of you
   
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