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MidnightMay Offline
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not ready to talk but need too! - January 7th 2013, 04:48 PM

I usually don't have this issue but I suddenly do! I almost always find a way to get it out but this subject is just something I have no idea when I will be ready. I feel that If I dont talk about it than I will just keep getting worse to a point of no return. Though I have tried to talk about it but just mentally shut down and can't answer questions or talk. I have tried my many tricks of writing about it and drawing and even let my therapist know but it is not working. I think I waste my time by trying to prepare myself for that subject and considered taking a break and coming back when I feel I am ready but then I think how can that be a good idea. Any advice??

BTW I am not going to say what it is but I worry it can cause me to get back to the point of where I first started. (that was a rough time and place to get out of)


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Re: not ready to talk but need too! - January 10th 2013, 09:27 PM

I'm a bit confused... do you feel the issue needs to be discussed because it's negatively affecting your life (ex. keeping you from having friendships, going to work, taking care of yourself)? Or do you feel the issue needs to be discussed because you believe other people would tell you it needs to be discussed? There's a difference, so I'd take some time to really figure that out.

If your life is being impaired because of this issue, then I think it's worth exploring other ideas on how you can bring this issue to light. For example, when you try to write out the issue, what happens? Do you try to state it simply, create a story about it, write a script about it, write a letter, or something else? Maybe writing about the issue will help, if you take a slightly different approach than you normally would. You could then share whatever you wrote with your therapist.

If the issue is "dormant" at the moment, then I don't feel there's any rush in sharing it with your therapist. For example, there are issues I've wanted to share with people, but haven't, because they're not currently negatively affecting my life. I just want to share those issues someday because they are significant in some way. I recognize that it doesn't necessarily have to happen NOW, because those issues are "dormant" - they're an important part of my past, but since they have little to no influence on the present day, there's no rush in sharing information around those issues.






   
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Re: not ready to talk but need too! - January 12th 2013, 02:14 PM

Hey,

I too am a bit confused about the situation, why you feel you should discuss it, the urgency and so forth. Any more information you could give would be helpful, even if you do not wish to disclose what it is you do not wish to talk about.

One thing that I don't know if you've already tried is simply writing one sentence, phrase, or anything of the sort each day. Make it part of your routine so that it is not some huge ordeal to think of the "grand statement of the day". But then, overtime, it will be written out in some form to either help you move past it, share with someone else, or both. You could even ask your therapist to throw in one question a session randomly to get you more emotionally capable of talking about it without expressing the response you currently are. Another idea would be to write something using purely analogies. Again, another way to get yourself used to talking (or in this case writing) about it.

Can you talk about it out loud to when no one is around to overhear? Maybe give that a try if you have not. Even if it is one sentence at a time. At least for me, the hardest part about talking about it is hearing myself say it, as it tends to make it far more real.

That is great that you have a therapist and will most definitely help! Do they know anything about EMDR? Google it if you have the opportunity. I have found it to be helpful in the past, and it is a far less stressful form of therapy in my experience. I find it can also help the healing process as you work through EMDR more so than behavioral therapy.

Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you.
Maria.



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Re: not ready to talk but need too! - January 13th 2013, 01:26 AM

The issue is more of a negative and I am going to see how trying those different approaches work. I just am so stunned by the fact I have never had issues opening up at all. I do have the occasional hesitant things but never so much I just shut down. I think I am going to see if I could say it with myself.


feel free to PM me...

Always keep a smile on your face and Lots of love in you heart! <3

Dont wear a mask and suffocate
take it off and breathe

Earth without ART is just EH...
   
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