Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Spikey Offline
Junior TeenHelper
Spikey's Avatar
Name: Molly
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 219
Join Date: October 8th 2010

Anger. - January 12th 2013, 07:40 PM

Lately, when I'm angry, I tend to get a bit aggressive.

The way it's always worked with me, is that when I used to be angry, I would remove myself from the situation and calm down and then be able to deal with it. But, I now have a boyfriend. And he doesn't leave me alone when I'm angry, no matter how many times he says he will, he never does. (I made another thread about this problem).

And, when he doesn't leave me alone, I just get angrier and angrier and angrier. And all that is going around my head is that I want to be left alone. Of course, my boyfriend doesn't leave me alone. So, I'll try to push him out of my way, but he's a lot heavier and stronger than me, so he won't move. And then I'll start punching and kicking and hitting and elbowing him just to get him out of my way, because I don't care right now, I just want to be left alone.

I know it's bad that I actually find it quite easy to hit him and stuff (I never beat him right down, I just shove him and slap him and stuff) but I don't know what else to do.

How can I control my anger? Should I get help for it? And how do I stop myself from kicking, hitting, shoving and elbowing him?


And she turns up the music, to drown out her life.

22/12/2014 was the last date I self-harmed. The longest I have gone so far is 1 year, 2 months and 5 days. This time, I hope I can give up! New record: 1 year 6 months! Yay!!
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Greenie Offline
Junior TeenHelper
Greenie's Avatar
Name: Amy
Gender: XX chromosome
Location: Australia

Posts: 208
Blog Entries: 47
Join Date: October 30th 2011

Re: Anger. - January 12th 2013, 10:23 PM

Hi Molly
Obviously, your boyfriend is not getting the message that you would like to be left alone, and this is quite a concern, as partners should always listen to your needs.

I'm not sure whether you mean he won't ever leave you alone, like he's always popping by your home or wanting to go out every night, or when you spend time together you need periods of time where you need to be alone. If it is the second, then I suppose your boyfriend is not used to the idea that partners need a little bit of private time to themselves if they're together all the time, and this will need to be discussed with him at a time when you are both calm. As you a prone to anger and need to be alone more often to cool down, make sure that this is fully understood by your boyfriend. If it is the former, then I suggest you let your boyfriend know that people require time without their partners, and that although relationships are a major part of a person's life, they do not make up all of it.

As for kicking and punching him - to me, as you are a couple, I can understand why you resorted to that as you were very frustrated and wanted to feel as if you were being listened to by someone you trust and are close to, and in a state of anger where it is harder to control your behaviour. So, for someone who is prone to anger, I don't think there was anything too concerning with this, as long as no physical injury was caused. But to avoid this particular scenerio occurring again, your boyfriend really needs to listen to you and respect your needs. It is really important that you tell him that in order for you to avoid getting in a state where you have less control over your behaviour, you must be left alone for a bit to calm down. If he still doesn't listen to you or respect this part of you, then I'm not sure how much he really respects you as a person and there may be other issues there.

I don't think there is any immediate need to get counselling of some sort for anger issues as you do have a way to calm yourself down that works when you need to, but in order to stop you from needing to this to control anger as frequently, some type of assistance would be beneficial.

I hope all goes well, keep us updated

Be like the turtle;
at ease in your own shell.
Closed Thread



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright ©1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.