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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Derp Offline
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I think I have an avoidant personality disorder - January 28th 2013, 01:07 PM

Every day in school is hard for me - some of my classmates often bully me so I feel stupid. I don't like to interact with people and when I do something (play games on my phone, draw, etc.), I just FEEL that someone stands behing my back and tries to find mistakes to laugh at me and say how horrible I am at it. I also hate name parents gave me (I don't even want to call it my name).
I am afraid to love and trust, there is only one person I can tell everything - my friend. I don't want to talk to someone I like really much as a friend unless I am 100% sure they like me back (even if I really want to). I want to have more close friends, but I am not sure anyone wants to be my friend.
I have a very low self-esteem. I think everything I do is bad and can cause problems. Lots of people (parents, teachers, classmates, people on Internet, etc.) told me I mess up everything and don't even notice it, so I got used to yell at myself for every mistake or problem that occurs. In fact, I think most of things that went bad is my fault.
I sometimes have suicidal thoughts, but I am afraid of pain and death, so I just draw how I kill myself and these thoughts go away. Writing stories or listening to music helps me too.
I always expect reaction like "Your "problem" is stupid, you are just shy, deal with it!" or something like that. I think someone will come and insult me while I will be talking about my problems.
And yes, I am really shy. I can't speak in front of other people, when they stare at me. I don't know how to start a conversation.
Today I walked into wrong class by mistake, and everyone was staring at me and laughing. I ran away crying and blaming myself for my silliness.
I am thirteen, so I am not sure if I can be diagnosed, but I need help! It is ruining my life.
   
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Re: I think I have an avoidant personality disorder - January 28th 2013, 03:57 PM

Hi.
if you don't like your name you can change it either with parental help or when your old enough to do it on your own.
I'm sorry that those low lives bully you
Those kinds of people need counseling.
You don't need to change who you are to make anyone happy.
All that matters is what you think of yourself!
If you like to draw then that's awesome! I wish I could draw, I suck horribly at it lol.
When you went into the wrong classroom I don't think they were laughing to make fun of you. And if they were then its they're loss.
It's ok to be shy or nervous its normal.
Just be yourself and try not to over think what you think they're thinking.

I'm here if you need to talk you can PM or VM me
Hope I helped!


Stay Strong <3


Sticks and stones break your bones,
I know what you're feeling
Words like those won't steal your glow,
you're one in a million" ~ Britt Nicole
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I think I have an avoidant personality disorder - January 28th 2013, 09:25 PM

At 13, there's a lot more going on with your personality than you are aware of. Hormones, and the fact that your brain is still growing and changing for about another 10 years, are a big part of that, and for this reason, personality disorders can not be diagnosed in someone under 18. And anybody who does, is most likely unethical.

The thing is, your personality doesn't become concrete until some time in your early 20s for most people. I know that for me, I've only been really sure of who I am personality-wise for the last couple of years.

Maybe you're shy, or maybe you're anxious, or maybe you've been bullied a lot (sounds it!) and that's affecting how you interact with people. There are many people who have trouble with interpersonal relationships for many different reasons. But maybe try to stop beating up on yourself. Everybody does stuff wrong or bad from time to time, but if you dwell on that, then you're not helping yourself in any way at all. Find things that you're good at, that you can praise yourself for, and that others will give you praise for. All humans require positive attention from other humans in order to be healthy.

So, I very much doubt that you are Aviodant Personality. I think it's far more likely that some environmental factors and things from your past are making it hard for you to talk to people and be around them. That being said, you would probably still benefit from seeing a counselor of some description to help you deal with this, as people are a fact of life, so you need to be able to live with them, without living in fear.

   
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Re: I think I have an avoidant personality disorder - January 29th 2013, 03:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by i_like_black View Post
or maybe you've been bullied a lot
Well, yes! I remember I've been bullied since kindergarten, and sometimes I was really aggressive and began to attack bullies with whatever I found heavy enough to harm them. Or tried to bite a person blocking my way. Of course, my parents thought bullying was normal and never tried to help me - my reaction was more important to them and so they punished me for it, but never explained, how to communicate. Same thing was in primary school - unfortunately, there were some kids from my kindergarten in my class. I changed schools two times, but the problem is still not solved.

I think they bullied me because I never knew how to interact with people - I found books more interesting, than people outside. But they never helped me to become more sociable.
   
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