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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Suspicion about bipolar in friend - February 14th 2013, 04:07 PM

For a long time I have suspected that one of my sort-of friends has bipolar disorder. We used to be very close until his behaviour got out of control and I was sick of him negatively affecting my life. I talked to his mom who said she thought the same thing and that she tried to talk to him about getting a psychological assessment and he freaked out and she was afraid to bring it up again because she was worried he might become violent if she did.
That being said, I have a very different relationship with him than she does and while i don't like having to deal with him often cause there is just *something* about him that is very hard to deal with in large doses (irresponsibility, flightiness, he's always WAY WAY WAY up, and his stupid get-rich scheme but the times I've seen him down is like holy shit). But the problem is I don't want to become the person who needs to *take* care of him. Maybe that makes me a huge ass hole and I odn't want it to seem wrong, but I am worried about him because I think that what ever is going on with him could be better, he could probably finally hold down a job and get somewhere in life if he god his mood under control (and he seems to be oblivious as to why so many people don't like him or seem bothered by him etc). It's not like he's a bad person; he has good intentions; it's just that I want him to get help but I don't want to have to always be dealing with him because like I said, we're not close like we used to be. But he might take my bringing this up with him as a "oh let's be bffs again" which I don't want... I really don't know how to explain that any better, but unfortunately I have to go shower and get ready for school.
Please, if anyone has suggestions about how to approach him with this and let him know my concerns WITHOUT opening a giant dam into "bff mode" at the same time please let me know. I also don't want it to seem out of the blue or like I am accusing him of something. Ex. should i maybe google counselling services or something? Or should i just let it go all together and let him take care of himself? Or should I just casually ask something like "hey, so your mom mentioned to me, like, ages ago that she wanted you to get a psychological assessment, did you ever do that?" Suggestions are welcome I've never actually thought it might be necessary to bring up mental illness with a friend-typed person so I am not sure how to appropriately approach this.




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Re: Suspicion about bipolar in friend - February 14th 2013, 07:28 PM

First, you aren't wrong for not wanting to take care of him. You aren't a professional, and nothing gives you that responsibility.
I have been in situations like this, where I've desperately wanted my friends to get help. Unfortunately, there's not much you or his mother can do unless he becomes a danger to himself or others. You can suggest that he goes to a counselor/therapist, but he isn't going to do anything unless he wants to help himself. I do hope that he does try to get help though, because he doesn't sound healthy right now.



Sorry I couldn't be there, I was tied to a rocking chair.




   
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