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Question Mum wants to 'talk' ?!! - March 21st 2013, 12:44 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hi,

So, my Mum doesn't know a lot about my issues, she knows that i'm on Anti- depressants, that I have depression and she knows about one occasion of SH. I'm currently at Uni and going home this weekend for Easter. But, when she was texting me this morning, she said that she wants to talk to me. I tried to find out what it was about, but she says that if she told me, that would give me time to come up with an answer and put my 'lets humour Mum til she shuts up' face on.

This is really stressing me out as i'm worried i've been lax about my SH and she's found out about that or if i've sent her a message instead of my therapist or something. And if thats the case, that is horrendous because i've just opened up about something in my past that my Mum doesnt know about. I know some people will think that her finding out may be a good thing, but it just means that she will be constantly worried and won't leave me alone either.

I'm really stressed and now going home (which was going to be great) is seeming really daunting!
   
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Re: Mum wants to 'talk' ?!! - March 21st 2013, 01:38 AM

Well, first of all, we don't know for sure that your mom wants to talk about this. Maybe she wants to bring up a different difficult topic (like a marital or financial stressor). So for the time being, while you may not be able to do away with all the stress, try having an open mind. Maybe this won't be as terrible of a conversation as you think it will be!

Second, if your mom is going to talk about the self-harm, then it's only fair that you should be able to talk about how the two of you handle this issue. For example, you could let your mom know that constantly worrying about you and bothering you just adds more stress to your life, which could ultimately lead to more self-harm (as a coping mechanism for all the stress). You would have the opportunity to talk to your mom about how she can actually help, now that she knows the truth. Also, you could encourage her to seek help for herself. It's not uncommon for parents to seek their own therapy upon finding out their child isn't doing so well mentally. Encourage her to help you by helping herself - all that worrying would not only hurt you, but it would wear down on her physically and emotionally after a while!






   
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