TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
CrystalJade Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
CrystalJade's Avatar
 
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Washington

Posts: 306
Join Date: May 28th 2010

What is wrong with me, too sympathetic? - February 13th 2014, 03:51 AM

Whenever I see an elderly person or someone that is crippled I just feel so terrible for them. A few weeks ago there was this man that was probably 85 in one of my classes, he was really slow at getting around and I just couldn't help but wonder why he was going to college at his age and I felt so bad for him. This has bothered me for about a month now and I pray that he achieves his goals.

Ever since I was a kid I felt bad for elderely people eating alone or disabled people, etc but it's gotten increasingly worse lately. I get really depressed by how I feel and I don't understand why I feel this way. I have my CNA but the work isn't my ideal type of work and I think I wouldn't be able to do it now anyway.

What is wrong with me?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
Newsletter Tips Writer
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Kate*'s Avatar
 
Name: Katie
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 4,718
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: What is wrong with me, too sympathetic? - February 13th 2014, 05:11 AM

Hey there, There is nothing wrong with you. It sounds like you really care about people and that's great! I'd like to offer you a different perspective, though.

I don't have a lot of experience with elderly or differently-abled individuals, but what I've found from the experience that I do have is that most of them want to be noticed for their strengths. They may not be able to do everything that you can do, they may have to do some things differently, or more slowly, but they don't want to be pitied or felt sorry for. That doesn't mean you're wrong for feeling that way, it's just not how most people want to be seen.

So, next time you feel sorry for someone, try to think of them as different and not disabled. For example, the elderly man in your class may do things slower than most of you, but he is able to do them, and he's working towards his goal just like you. Someone in a wheelchair may not be able to walk, but they can do most, if not all other things that you can do, it might just take some adjustments or adaptations.

It's also okay to offer assistance to someone if they seem to be struggling with something, but don't be offended if they turn you down, everyone wants their independence.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
   
2 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
CrystalJade Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
CrystalJade's Avatar
 
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Washington

Posts: 306
Join Date: May 28th 2010

Re: What is wrong with me, too sympathetic? - February 13th 2014, 06:26 AM

I just don't understand why it's gotten so strong. I have a disabled brother and that doesn't bother me but when I see others less fortunate it really hits me. I want to cry and I've even had thoughts of suicide to make the feelings stop. I hate it. I try to think of the long life the elderly people have already had but I hate to see other people struggle. I'm able bodied and there's nothing I can do to take away their pain. The elderly man dropped the class before the first day even started, he got up and walked right out.

Sometimes you see people making terrible remarks to the people I've mentioned in this and it makes me sick and sticks in my head. I have a stronger connection to animals (cats in particular) and I can't even make friends very easily but this just kills me for some reason. I hate it so much.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,034
Blog Entries: 35
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: What is wrong with me, too sympathetic? - February 18th 2014, 01:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CrystalJade
I'm able bodied and there's nothing I can do to take away their pain.
What makes you say that? There are so many organizations you could get involved with if you wanted to make a difference! =) I hope that doesn't sound harsh, but let's face it... if you don't like what you're seeing, then do something about it! Feeling sorry for other people doesn't always cut it... and it sounds like NOT doing anything is eating you up inside, even pushing you to the point of contemplating suicide. So help yourself by helping other people! Take that first step by learning about organizations you can volunteer with. There are assisted-living facilities, hospices, and senior centers, just to name a few! =)





   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
sympathetic, wrong

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.