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sunflower Offline
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Vulnerability - May 24th 2014, 12:35 AM

I saw my psychiatrist today, and ended up saying a lot more than I would have liked to say.

We talked about stuff and toward the end I was telling him about how I'd been feeling disconnected and he said it was dissociation. And my dad somehow came up, and I started crying. Then my doctor said that dissociation is "common in people with BPD... and PTSD" (not diagnosed with PTSD... yet) and he asked me if I had intrusive thoughts, I answered yes and then he asked me what they were about. I just shrugged my shoulders and said I didn't know, still tears falling. Then he said "...abuse?" And I shrugged my shoulders again.

He got a lot out of me today, and I'm afraid of being vulnerable and open like that.

I feel really scared. I want to back out...

My ears are always open. If you want to vent, chit-chat, anything, just send me a message

Every drop in the ocean counts.
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Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: Vulnerability - May 26th 2014, 07:01 PM

sometimes its better to let out your worries towards your psychiatrist because they're meant to know what sort of mental anguish/ problems you're facing. But i think that everyone feels vulnerable at certain moments at one point or the other. but rest assured that all these worries will disappear if you just calm your mind, relax and just take your time being casual at whatever you're doing

sometimes when the world is forced to take a freight train, you can calmly walk the streets and enjoy how things are... not sure if that made any sense. But what i meant is that... you can take things a little more slowly and leisurely. That sort of laid-back lifestyle can help calm things down and help you see the problems for what they truly are.. mere hindrances that you will eventually brave, surpass and make you stronger.

things will get better. and vulnerability isn't a weakness. it can be a strength. I can name a lot of people who would want to have the strength to reveal how they are .. most of them stay guarded when it comes to revealing their true personality.

you'll always have us
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Philomath Offline
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Re: Vulnerability - May 26th 2014, 07:56 PM

Vulnerability is definitely scary but in terms of getting better, it is worth being vulnerable. The more you tell your psychiatrist, the more he can help you. A hard thing about therapy or counseling in general, is that in order to get help and specific help that you need and that will be useful, you have to be open. Most people do not want to be open because once a person opens up, there is no taking back those things however the great thing about this that your psychiatrist can help you with these things you discuss. It is a very uncomfortable and scary process but that is because you probably do not talk about these things often so when faced with having to talk about them, part of you wants to go back to normalcy.
I definitely think you should keep talking to him and I hope that you see the benefits of this because you are doing the right thing and best thing you can do for yourself.

"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
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