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RadioSerenade Offline
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Major Communication Problems. - September 23rd 2014, 11:07 AM

I remember when I first began my Final years of schooling, I went to a councellor named Brian, I have referenced him before here, but back then I had a very definitive reason for being there. I knew exactly what the problem was because it was virtually controlling my life for the last eight months, so that was very difficult to avoid. Later down the track however, with him, very late into my campaign with him and also meeting other councellors, the main question always seems to come up.

"So what is it that you wanted to talk about today?"

And most of the time the answer was "I don't even know". Or if not "I don't even know" then "I don't even know how to begin." And I mean that is the case most of the time, the councellor obviously wants you to be very direct so the councellor can help you, and you're sitting there going "how do I start, what do I say?" I mean for example, I saw a councellor once for an issue involving a friend who was in danger. And she basically asked me what was going on and the whole time, I was trying to work my way around saying certain things.

I mean for the first few weeks I couldn't even physically say the words "suicide" or "kill herself" because I have never even said those words before. This meant a lot of stuttering, a very dry mouth, pauses between sentences thinking about my words and a rather concerning bout of shivering as well. I had to go to hospital mid way through one of the sessions for a completely unrelated issue but even before the ambułance arrived I said "I did want to talk to you about something..... umm, maybe when.... Umm". An incident which I couldn't even physically mention, and not because I was in enormous amounts of pain. I never have spoken about that to any human being or any username before, my only real secret. I still haven't because I didn't manage to get it out that day.

I want to be able to lay down and just rabble on with complete flow and being able to communicate but after being in Councelling for a total of ten months, I am no closer. (Ten months in regular Councelling, two years in chronological terms.)

How do you begin to become more able to communicate with your councellor when you don't know what or how most of the time?
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Re: Major Communication Problems. - September 23rd 2014, 03:46 PM

Well I understand completely what you are going through, there are some things that a person would not want to talk about. Maybe you could tell her about your fear of opening up to her, and see if she has any suggestions to give to you about being more comfortable with her. It also takes some time to find the right person to share you feelings with, it could be that you just haven't found the right person to talk to. Maybe you could start slow and just talk about small things till you get more comfortable with her and feel that you can trust her, then start to reveal bigger things to her. So that you can start some really good sessions and find ways to cope with what ever is bothering you. Also maybe just try writing it down to her in a note and have her read or maybe if you are confident enough you can read it to her. One more other thing that is terrifying just thinking about it, but maybe just try to force it out the best way possible if it is really on your mind and you really need to say something serious. If you ever need some one to talk to that's not your therapist, family, or friends you can always come to me for advice or if you just need someone to talk to. Just PM me. I really hope that this helps you in some kind of way, and that you can open up to her or someone. It's just not good to bundle things up, because they tend to come out in negative ways when you stuff it all in. So yeah hope that this helps. Let me if it did if you want to.

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Re: Major Communication Problems. - September 24th 2014, 05:40 PM

Have you tried writing down the issues beforehand because sometimes that can help to get started if you can't say it. I generally find things easier to talk about once I know that they know where I'm coming from and then if asked I can give more detail. It can take a very long time to get past that stage but I've found once you can talk more comfortably from that it then becomes easier to start. Hope that helps.
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