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juniorsyko Offline
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Name: Matthew
Age: 24
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Location: Yorkshire

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Join Date: July 27th 2014

Struggling? Need Help? - October 14th 2014, 11:31 PM

Hey Everyone.
I unfortunately lost one of my closest family members 4 months ago. I have always acted strong, and I live far away from the rest of my family, but I'm struggling quite a lot. On odd nights I can't keep her off my mind, and she'd a tear and just remember her been there like she always was. It makes it hard that she was the person I used to speak to whenever I felt like I do now about anything.

The tears are a lot less frequent and I feel a bit brighter, but I am tired all the time, struggle socially, and even really am struggling to start basic of conversations. Sometimes I don't feel like talking to certain friends even. I am single and 19 and I really just want a normal life( she would have wanted me to have), but I just don't feel right. My sleep is also a real problem. I sometimes really struggle to get up on mornings, like, not finding it hard but sometimes just stuck on my pillow for half the day. I also find myself getting a lot of sleep but been very tired all day long, and this is affecting my university studies. Does anyone else know how I can cope again. I feel like I need people similar to me, but near to me, to start conversations and relationships with, but thats really hard. Does anyone have any ideas of what would be the best way of support?
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Celyn Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Struggling? Need Help? - October 16th 2014, 12:17 PM

Hi Matthew,

So sorry for your loss

It can be very hard trying to put on a brave face every day, when you donít feel like it. But it doesnít mean you have to. Itís good to cry and let our emotions out in a safe way. Itís also good just to take a break and look after yourself, especially during a difficult time.

Is there anyone else you could talk to? It sounds like your loved one was very special to you, and you didnít mind sharing your feelings with her. It can be hard if you only talked to one person about your feelings and feel like you have no one else. But we are here for you. Also, you could check out our hotlines for grieving.

It is very normal to experience a wide range of feelings when grieving. THIS gives a range of feelings, but you may experience others. From what you have said, you sound like you may feel a bit Ďnumbí? You may not cry a lot, but feeling tired and finding it hard to concentrate on conversations is also normal. Donít rush yourself, when you are grieving. Iím sure your loved one would want you to have a very fulfilling life, but at the moment, you need to look after yourself first. Do your friends know about your loss? Perhaps informing them might help, as they will be understanding if you donít feel that sociable at the moment. Try not to isolate yourself though.

Struggling to get up in the morning is also common as well as finding the motivation to study or do work. Set yourself an ideal time to get up in the morning, and try to get up 5 minutes earlier every morning until you reach your ideal time. Itís easier this way as it eases your body into getting back into a routine rather than the extreme of going from spending ages in bed, to getting up early.

Have you informed the university about your loss? They can provide extra support such as free student counselling services and be able to extend deadline for you.

Take care

HelpLINK and Live Help Officer
Feel free to PM me! Even if I canít help, Iím always going to listen <3

Last edited by Celyn; October 16th 2014 at 12:54 PM.
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